BookTalk.org
https://www.booktalk.org/

Tell me what you think!
https://www.booktalk.org/tell-me-what-you-think-t6930.html
Page 1 of 1

Author:  boxergrl [ Fri Aug 28, 2009 10:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Tell me what you think!

This is a poem I wrote myself let me know what you think!

Over The Edge By boxergrl

I'm goin' over don't dare take one step closer,
I'm goin' over 'cause I can't take this much longer,
Don't try to stop me it's too late,
When someone yells, ''Help!'' you hesitate,

You never come on time, you're the reason I'm always blue,
Don't dare deny what you know is true,
You find it quite hard to believe how I keep it all bottled up inside of me,
The truth is I've always yelled ouy my fear,
You just never really cared to hear,

Now you look up at me on the ledge,
And still don't know why I'm about to go over the edge.

Author:  Iluvbookz13 [ Sat Aug 29, 2009 3:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tell me what you think!

Very good :clap:

This one sentance was a wee bit lengthy, though. Just a little off of rythym.

boxergrl wrote:
You find it quite hard to believe how I keep it all bottled up inside of me,


Other than that, great poem! My vote is keep writin'!

Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC - 5 hours
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/