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Atom of Us

Posted: Thu Mar 12, 2009 6:54 pm
by Interbane
I wrote a poem while at work, sorry if it isn't iambic pentameter or whatever parameters are placed on poetry. I wrote it as a challenge to myself to start with a sentence about the 'atom of philosophy'. So here it is:

I quest for the atom of philosophy,
A parallel to what the scientist has found.
The artist’s atom is his admirer’s glee,
Hidden in a painting or sculpted from sound.

To have an eternal sliver of uncertainty
Hidden underneath all that there is
Will hopefully keep our views dogma free
And shield our souls from evil hubris

The certainty of a minds best pondering
Appears solid as steel on the surface
But just as this steel is made mostly of nothing
So the best of ideas are possibly misplaced.

What’s on the canvas but smudges of liquid
Or the atom of a blade but a ball of dimension
And a book full of thought is dull and insipid
Seen through a looking glass are these views I mention

Since it’s only seen this way if a person is half blind,
For on the wrong end of a blade one will still die
And books with bad words can enslave the mind,
And a painting by a master can bring a tear to your eye

Re: Atom of Us

Posted: Thu Mar 12, 2009 8:59 pm
by Thomas Hood
Interbane wrote:The artist’s atom is his admirer’s glee,
Hidden in a painting or sculpted from sound.
True art, like any creative act, is from inspiration, not the approval of others.

Posted: Thu Mar 12, 2009 10:12 pm
by Interbane
Maybe not approval, but shouldn't it evoke emotion in others? Hrmph, I guess I need to rewrite my poem. :weep:

Posted: Fri Mar 13, 2009 7:29 am
by Thomas Hood
Interbane wrote:Maybe not approval, but shouldn't it evoke emotion in others? Hrmph, I guess I need to rewrite my poem. :weep:
No, don't rewrite. Just ignore me. You can't please everyone, and anyway, I admire the effort.

Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 7:56 pm
by Saffron
Interbane: Great to see you post an original poem. I see you even got a bit of feedback. In the name of keeping down the number of threads a bit (we have quite a few here on Passion for Poetry), if you have any more original poems, and I hope you do, you can post them on the Original Poetry thread.

Thanks,
Saffron