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New author and book, The Blasphemous Bible.

Posted: Thu Apr 04, 2019 5:03 pm
by CraigW
Hello,
My name is Craig Wells and I am the author of The Blasphemous Bible, a satirical rewrite of the KJV Bible written in modern English. My book can be purchased through many retailers or direct through my publisher via this link. http://www.8thhousepublishing.com/books ... mous-bible My publisher is currently running a $5.00 discount promotional through their website. If you would like to know how to get that, feel free to message me directly. I do not know how long this promotion will run. I am currently running a poll via my Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/TheBlasphemousBible/ about a potential live stream q&a. Feel free to go put in your input and like/follow. You can also answer here though my publisher will most likely look at the Facebook poll.
Sincerely,
Craig
P.S.
An unedited by the publisher snippet.

1:1 The song of perversion, which is Solomon's.
1:2 Let me kiss his loins with the softness of my lips, for his seed is sweeter than wine.
1:3 Because of the savor of his ointments, I have grown addicted to his lust; lo, all the virgins crave the pleasure which lies beneath his skirt.
1:4 Throw me atop your bed and thrust inside me; may every part of my body know the pleasure of your thrusts.
1:5 We shall rejoice in orgasm and quiver in our embrace; let us pour strong drink on our backs and lap it up like the thirsty wolf.

Re: New author and book, The Blasphemous Bible.

Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 12:35 pm
by LanDroid
"The entire King James bible rewritten and edited for common sense."

Wait, you did all this in a book that is only 496 pages? You must have edited out a lot out, or, like the compact Oxford English Dictionary, have four pages of text on each side of a page and include a magnifying glass?

Here's the King James text to compare to your version of the Song of Solomon above.
1 The song of songs, which is Solomon's.
2 Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.
3 Because of the savour of thy good ointments thy name is as ointment poured forth, therefore do the virgins love thee.
4 Draw me, we will run after thee: the king hath brought me into his chambers: we will be glad and rejoice in thee, we will remember thy love more than wine: the upright love thee.

Uhhh well based on comparing these two snippets, I'm not sure what to make of your efforts at this point...

(BTW you posted two identical threads, I deleted one.)

:welcome:

Re: New author and book, The Blasphemous Bible.

Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 4:34 pm
by CraigW
It was edited to appear as the Bible so yes, the font is small and 2 columns of text per page. If we did not do this, the book would have been around 1,000 or so pages and expensive to manufacture. Allow me to post another quick snippet, which could still be argued in celebration of Ishtar.

2:26 Then Eve saw Adam and asked God "What is that odd protrusion between Adam's thighs?"
2:27 And God explained that was a penis, which can be used to urinate while standing up.
2:28 And Eve asked God to make the penis bigger, fatter and harder
2:29 Thus the erection was created
2:30 And Eve saw the erection and knew that it would not last long.

Re: New author and book, The Blasphemous Bible.

Posted: Sun Jun 16, 2019 12:07 pm
by CraigW
Once I get my internet set up or I go to the library, I can send you the link to my social media page and publisher's website. It's available online through Amazon and most bookstores as well.