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What would you change?

Posted: Wed Mar 19, 2008 11:02 pm
by sweetpea27
If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

Posted: Thu Mar 20, 2008 12:05 am
by Frank 013
I would fix my knee!

Later

Making a Change

Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 11:37 am
by tarav
I am glad to see that it seems we are all generally happy with ourselves! Fixing a bum knee is a reasonable wish for change. Or could it be we don't want to think about our shortcomings? Or is it that there are so many to list, we don't know where to begin? Could it be we don't want to make public our faults?
I've been sitting here thinking that I am pretty happy with myself and my life. There is one area in need of improvement, but I wonder if in a month or two or year of two I'd look back on this post and feel silly about it. Right now, I wish I could change that I seem to be unable to find the partner I want in life. I am not sure if this has something to do with my ability to choose correctly or what! I just wish that aspect of my life would change!

Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 1:49 pm
by sweetpea27
I can relate to you there for some reason it is so hard to find that special someone,And I often wonder about alot of the mistakes i've made and if i didn't make them would I have found mr right? But I don't regret them too much bc we all have to learn from our mistakes and just hope for a good outcome.

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 3:03 pm
by tarav
Thanks, sweetpea! I am trying to be like you and hope for a good outcome!

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:23 pm
by Frank 013
tarav
Or could it be we don't want to think about our shortcomings? Or is it that there are so many to list, we don't know where to begin? Could it be we don't want to make public our faults?
Well, I certainly do not consider myself perfect... far from it. But my faults in my opinion are minor and at this point I am comfortable with them.

They are...

I have a tendency towards procrastination and laziness, which I generally overcome with a strong work ethic... those traits mostly show themselves at home.

I'm shy around new people... I used to use alcohol to combat this flaw, since then I have developed a well rounded list of interests that I can discuss and now I just use humor to break the ice most of the time.

I have a degree of self consciousness, I do not like being perceived as weak or as a victim, I have developed a tendency to overcompensate and attack when on the defensive.

Those are a few of my more challenging flaws, but I do not regret having them, they have made my life very interesting to say the least and I am proud to have found ways to overcome and live with them.

I have very few (only a handful) of regrets most of them are minor being personal choices and not suffering that I have inflicted on others.

Later

Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 7:00 pm
by Ophelia
Frank, what you wrote made me think...

The mistakes I've made are, I find, always mistakes of appreciation or evaluation, and now that I'm aware of them... I still find it very hard not to make the same mistakes again!

Some of the worst errors made in appraeciating and understanding what was being said to me was when I was about 20. During my student days, I was really living on my own planet, the impact of reality hadn't hit. Well, at that age what can you expect.

Later I found that in some cases I had not been listening to or hearing the clear signals that people were giving me-- I was yet on another planet at the time.
In one case it resulted in people getting really angry with me, and there was nothing I could say-- really embarrassing, how could I not have heard?

Now I'm more careful-- I know that my antennaes have not been perfect in the past and I'd rather avoid the old mistakes if possible.

One thing that I still find very difficult is evaluating what young people tell me. In the old days I could mostly ignore their complaints, and, with certitude of my own youth, believe that this was nonsense and should be treated as such.

Now you can't do that, I have to address their complaints, and my problem is sorting out what should be addressed from the nonsense to be ignored.
My colleagues seem to know how to do this -- I know for every day use, I don't bumble into mistakes day in and day out, but occasionally I find it difficult to have the correct appreciation.
Some years I have ignored the complaints, which were also in a vocabularyI did not understand and honestly made no sense to me. And on one or two occasions the results were near catastrophic.

Often it just seems to me that this is play acting: young people get as worked up over last Friday's test or the trampled rights of students in our schools as over the invasion of Tibet.
Once, after an outburst of indignation, I asked them if they really believed in all this or if it was a show: I honestly didn't know.
They said of course they believed in what they were saying!

And the thing is, I think that at the time, the quibbling about their marks is as important as repression in Tibet. They probaly don't know themselves.

Still, teachers are supposed to know those things.

My colleague Baba Cool can speak volumes about unfairness and the young, and how he himself could not abide unfairness when he was a student... and really none of it makes sense to me.

One of my colleagues and friends is much more clever than I am about all those things, and has the ability to think the way young people think, sometimes in their words, and often defends their point of view-- a very impressive case of empathy for me to study; she's not a beginner, so the empathy is not due to the age factor.

One day I asked her how one could tell whether those young people were really indignant or were just faking it.
She, the defender of the young, answered: "Ah... the thing is, you can never know."

:sad:

Posted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 10:29 am
by ralphinlaos
I would be less selfish and more tolerant.

And about twenty pounds lighter.

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 10:40 am
by Penelope
I would be less concerned about whether people like me or not and be far more concerned about whether I like myself. I am working on this.

I would get rid of my baby fine...fluffy hair....and have really serious, sensible hair.....that looks grown-up and adult......for when I am pretending to be grown-up and adult.

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 3:55 pm
by coffeeaddict
For me, it is an easy choice. I have been legally blind since birth, so I give myself full vision if I could.