FUNNY DIALOGUES

[Chris OConnor]

FUNNY DIALOGUES

Patient: Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
Psychiatrist: I'll deal with you later.
Patient: Everyone keeps ignoring me.
Psychiatrist: Next please!

Mother: Mrs. Jokes next door has a new baby.
Daughter: What will she do with her old one?

Mother: You prayed for grandma, grandpa, and Aunt Sue. Why didn't you pray for Uncle John too?
Daughter: I didn't want to ask for too much.

Parent: I'd like a day without punishing you.
Little Mishief: You have my full permission!

Sailor: I was shipwrecked, and lived on a can of sardines for a week.
Captain: My, weren't you afraid that you'd fall off?

Student: Could I get in trouble if I didn't do something?
Teacher: Well, I don't suppose so.
Student: In that case, I didn't do my homework.

Jim: What's white, steep, and has ears?
Tara: I don't know.
Jim: A snow-covered mountain.
Tara: What about the ears?
Jim: Haven't you ever heard of mountaineers?

Camp Counselor: How did you get that horrible swelling on your nose?
Camper: I bent down to smell a brose.
Camp Counselor: There isn't a B in rose.
Camper: There was in this one!

[Chris OConnor]

Student: Teacher, how can I look up a word to spell in the dictionary
if I don't know how to spell the word in the first place?
Teacher: Why do they call it a Hot Water Heater? You don't need to heat hot water!

Polly: Why are you eating nickels?
Molly: Because the teacher wants to see some change in me.

Patient: Doctor, I have a problem. I can't remember anything.
Doctor: How long have you had this problem?
Patient: What problem?

[bleachededen]

Oldie but goodie:

Doctor: Well, you're all cured, the operation was a success.
Patient: Will I be able to play piano?
Doctor: Could you play piano before?
Patient: No, I just wanted to know if I could.

A real life take on the joke above:

Doctor: Everything's fine, the operation was a success.
Patient (my mom): Will I still be able to play piano?
Doctor: Could you play before?
Patient: Yes, I'm a concert pianist.

(I guess you had to be there. )

[jaywalker]

bleachededen, My wife has just had a Hand operation so I tried the Piano joke on the Doctor ,''Will she be able to play the Piano ?'' to be told in a angry voice ''If she has the Talent,of course.''

[bleachededen]

That's hilarious, jaywalker! That doctor must have heard the joke a million times to be that quick with a response.