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Variations on a theme

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Mr. P

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Variations on a theme

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I was reading a post at the bottom of this forum (Let's Talk About the Bible) and went to the message board that the initiator was from.I read this article:How to fight secularismI was amazed at what it said. It seems "they" look to use the same tactics that we do in promoting our goals, namely - educating the children. In the case of biblical education, I personally call it brainwashing...after all, I am trying to start a discussion here!It bothers me that 'they' think of secular (rational/scientific) thought as a danger, but I can understand how those brainwashed minds really do believe it. Which makes 'our' jobs that much harder.Mr. P. The one thing of which I am positive is that there is much of which to be negative - Mr. P.
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Mr. P

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That conversation has now moved to page 2 of this forum...due to this post.Mr. P. The one thing of which I am positive is that there is much of which to be negative - Mr. P.
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Who are they?
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Mr. P

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Follow the link.Mr. P. The one thing of which I am positive is that there is much of which to be negative - Mr. P.
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Chris OConnor

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Mr. P:That's a parody site and not to be taken seriously. We actually had the founder of that community get into some prolonged debates here on BookTalk until we all caught on. LOLRead some and you'll be cracking up. The funny part is they actually use the Bible to make Christianity as scary as it should be. They aren't making stuff up....its all in the "Good Book."Example:On their Community Chest they say, "The Lord handsomely rewards those who give unto Him (through such glorious ministries as this). Stop buying your greasey cheeseburgers and dope, pull out that credit card and GIVE UNTO THE LORD! OR BURN IN HELL!" hahaSeriously....dig deeper and you'll be crying laughing. The main pastor makes fun of retards in the name of God. It's horrible....which is what makes it so funny.Chris "For Every Winner, There Are Dozens Of Losers. Odds Are You're One Of Them"
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Mr. P:Lemme give you another example in case my last one wasn't convincing. All of their moderators are very good at being slick in their posts so that real Christians don't catch on and realize they are poking fun at them.Check out a post I just found...Click here.Or read below instead...Quote:Dearly Beloved!It is with a glad heart that I can report to you the latest tribulation with which the LORD Himself has seen fit to test my weak, sinful soul, that it may be perfectly refined to do His work in this fallen world.No sooner had I recovered from the foul ministrations of lascivious Philipino nurses in Leicester General Infirmary (following my road accident on the way to Lincolnshire) and returned to Gloucestershire, than the Colonel and Revd Prendergast made me responsible for a new and important project - the "Indomitable Ministry Against Fools Undermining Christ's Kingdom With Idiotic Tendencies" - which aims to counter lieberal ideas wherever they raise their ugly heads.We decided that it might be best to start off with something which would not allow me, as the Colonel put it, "ter get inter any bally trouble this time". So I was sent out on my bicycle to distribute copies of the Revd Prendergast's fascinating tract "Did Wycliffe Recycle?", which refutes the foolishness of the County Council's scheme to turn lewd and satanic publications into myet more lewd and satanic publications.Only 10 minutes or so after I had started, I had just turned out of Hooper Avenue into the top of Latimer Road which - as both Colonels and Bro Nicea can attest - is a steep slope leading down to Ridley Place.Aided by the gradient, I had picked up a fair turn of speed when I saw a grey squirrel on the road in front of me. Consoling myself with scripture - "and shall have dominion over them" - I braced myself for the impact but was startled to see the squirrel leap lissomely over the handlebars and - with an expression of demonic fury on its furry face - set about trying to rend me asunder with tooth and claw. At first I tried shrieking and swatting at it with one hand, causing me to wobble somewhat and gain velocity. "Foolish animal!" I said unto it "Notwithstanding the presence of the word 'nut' in my name, I am inedible to all tree-dwelling mammals!" The beast took no notice but renewed its efforts to eat me alive, climbing inside my shirt and setting about my torso.At this point the wobble became more pronounced and I managed to change direction with the aid of somebody's wing-mirror, which shattered under the impact. Unfortunately, my front wheel was so bent by this experience that it fell off, necessitating me to do a wheely at high speed, attempting to control the bike with one hand while flailing helplessly at the squirrel with the other. It is rare to see a police patrol in our quiet, rural corner of the country, so I registered no little surprise that parked on the corner was a police vehicle, containing a policeman and a policewoman who were sitting with the windows wound down catching up on some paperwork.At this point I put my hand inside my shirt, upon which the squirrel sank it's teeth into my finger. I managed to withdraw my hand and hurl the squirrel away, upon which - greatly relieved - I came to a halt with the aid of a hedge and reclined in Mr Prakash's herbaceous border for a moment of quiet rest and contemplation.Imagine my discomfort on being disturbed almost immediately by a frantic screaming sound. I summised that the squirrel, liberated from its dental attack upon my digit, had followed a parabolic trajectory straight through the open window of the police car and was now working the will of Lucifer on the clothing of the policewoman. Peering through the hedge, I witnessed the horrific spectacle of a partially naked daughter of Eve writhing as if in the torments of hell, attempting to dislodge the squirrel from her corsetry and filling the air with blasphemous imprecations.I shall have to write a letter of complaint to the chief constable about this!Yours in Christ,Brother Athanasius Notice in the 2nd pargraph he mentions a particular project he is now leading called the "Indomitable Ministry Against Fools Undermining Christ's Kingdom With Idiotic Tendencies." The acronym for this is "IMAFUCKWIT." LOLRead the whole thing! The squirrel attacking him....hahahaChris "For Every Winner, There Are Dozens Of Losers. Odds Are You're One Of Them"
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Hilarious.However, it really doesn't change Mr P.'s point. I was, at one point, a youth representative of my former church to the moolie mouk convention of the Methodist Church. This is a large bureaucratic convention where Methodist church policy is set for the year(s) coming.The sort of program to which Mr. P referred, and of which these posts are referring, do exist. And if they exist in a Methodist church, which for a christian establishment is fairly moderate, they certainly exist in some of Christianities more...militant types. Edited by: RickU at: 7/22/04 8:48 am
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Mr. P

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HAHAHAHAA!!!I appreciate people like this! Just like the Normal Bob link I posted...people who use humor and make a point are welcome in my world anytime!Thanks for pointing this out. I was reading the conversation "Let's talk about the bible" and thought this guy was over the top, and I see that he got a few members going and biting at the hook for a while.Anyway, I do agree with Rick (and I guess, in a way, I am agreeing with myself?) that the issue I raised is still a valid concern for all rational beings.Does anyone ever spend time watching religious TV shows? They scare me...you can sometimes see the lunacy in their eyes!Mr. P. The one thing of which I am positive is that there is much of which to be negative - Mr. P.
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Chris OConnor

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Mr. P:Quote:Does anyone ever spend time watching religious TV shows? They scare me...you can sometimes see the lunacy in their eyes!I watch them all the time! I'm mesmerized by skilled televangelists and radio preachers. To me it is entertainment at its finest. Listening to each logical fallacy and emotional rant makes me laugh to myself, and often right out loud, as I know instinctively how the target audience is responding.When I was around 10 years old I would watch Jim Bakker and Tammy Faye and I KNEW they were scammers. During this time in my life I spent a great deal of time at my grandmothers, and she loved to watch religious programming. I got sucked into it, but I didn't tell her I knew something was fishy with these two characters. Actually, at 10 years old I didn't yet understand homosexuality, but it was apparent to me that Jim was a little different. He walked and talked rather effeminately. But thats another issue completely.But yes, I do watch religious TV shows all the time and bug the hell out of people that don't share my fascination. LOLChris "For Every Winner, There Are Dozens Of Losers. Odds Are You're One Of Them"
RickU

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It may be funny to us, the freethinkers...But it's downright scary to think that so many people buy in...*note: I know...I know...I use the ellipsis too much. It's a bad habit and someday I might break it if I feel like it.
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