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Part II: They Were Married, First-Born, The Little Family 
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Post Part II: They Were Married, First-Born, The Little Family
Chapters 1, 2, 3 of Part II



Tue Aug 30, 2011 6:49 pm
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Post Re: Part II: They Were Married, First-Born, The Little Family
They were married, they were married, they were married, bliss, happiness, perfection, with only the slightest hairline fractures, and then into chapter 2, pregnancy and fears and more cracks appear. Ariah's underlying fear that Dirk will eventually leave her makes you wonder; will her fear make it happen?



Tue Sep 20, 2011 12:01 pm
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Post Re: Part II: They Were Married, First-Born, The Little Family
realiz wrote:
They were married, they were married, they were married, bliss, happiness, perfection, with only the slightest hairline fractures, and then into chapter 2, pregnancy and fears and more cracks appear. Ariah's underlying fear that Dirk will eventually leave her makes you wonder; will her fear make it happen?


Ah, yes, Self Fulfilling Prophecy. We'll see.



Tue Sep 20, 2011 4:34 pm
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Post Re: Part II: They Were Married, First-Born, The Little Family
The way her fear acts on her does create a sense of self-fulfilling prophecy ... or is it her prophecy that she is convinced is true? and what is she really afraid of?



Tue Sep 20, 2011 7:56 pm
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Post Re: Part II: They Were Married, First-Born, The Little Family
It may be a self-fulfililling prophecy. Ariah gradually pulls away from Dirk more and more, not wanting to know anything about his work or his friends. She pushes away most of the outside world and wants the children to be hers alone. She is just waiting for that time in the future when Dirk will leave her. In a sense, she is steeling herself against the inevitable hurt that she expects by withdrawing into her shell. Even when she does interact with friends and family, she is just acting, just pretending to have a relationship and keeping her real self locked away.

Dirk was her knight in shining armour but he realizes more and more that he can't really reach her. He does not undertand her and so he just stays on the outside of her life, keeping her happy by trying not to upset her.



Wed Sep 21, 2011 11:45 am
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Post Re: Part II: They Were Married, First-Born, The Little Family
I think Dirk is very ineffective at managing the situation. Ariah is alienated from her family and has no friends. He makes no effort to help her. The only people he introduces her too are his friends and this is not a crowd she fits in with. They don't have meaningful discussions about the issues she/they have. So I agree that Ariah withdraws and ultimately locks herself away emotionally but I also think that Dirk missed an opportunity to help her.



Wed Sep 21, 2011 6:57 pm
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Post Re: Part II: They Were Married, First-Born, The Little Family
Yes, true. He is somewhat afraid of her volitility and subsequently uses avoidance as a way of dealing with it. He spends less and less time at home and they are both more or less satifisfied with this arrangement. I guess this situation happens with many marriages where emotionally they drift apart and have less and less to do with each other's lives because it is easier, and here, for Ariah, it is what she has expected. By detaching and closing herself off from Dirk she is preparing for the inevitable.

Also interesting is how she begins to do the same thing to Chandler once Royall comes along I guess because Chandler still carries a taint from when she thought he might be fathered by Gilbert. Maybe something about him reminds her of Gilbert.



Thu Sep 22, 2011 11:54 am
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Post Re: Part II: They Were Married, First-Born, The Little Family
Ariah doesn't seem to be capable of carrying on a relationship with anyone. What do you suppose is missing in her character to cause this? She appears to be merely floating through life, taken care of by other people.



Thu Sep 22, 2011 6:28 pm
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Post Re: Part II: They Were Married, First-Born, The Little Family
Ariah does really struggle with relationships --- perhaps she is afraid of attachment to others after the experience with Gilbert but somehow I think this explanation is too simplistic. Relationships involve giving something of yourself and I think she has an underlying fear of this, she'd rather build a safe wall and hide behind it most of the time ... even her relationship with her kids is strange and limited in some ways. There have been comments made here about her feeling that she does not deserve to be happy or to enjoy certain things, this could be a contributing factor. But I think her issues stem from a more .. spiritual level ... although I'm not clear and how that might be.



Thu Sep 22, 2011 6:47 pm
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Post Re: Part II: They Were Married, First-Born, The Little Family
Yes, Ariah will not really let her kids know her and yet she wants them close to her. It is a kind of push/pull controlling relationship.



Fri Sep 23, 2011 1:30 pm
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Post Re: Part II: They Were Married, First-Born, The Little Family
giselle wrote:
Ariah does really struggle with relationships --- perhaps she is afraid of attachment to others after the experience with Gilbert but somehow I think this explanation is too simplistic. Relationships involve giving something of yourself and I think she has an underlying fear of this, she'd rather build a safe wall and hide behind it most of the time ... even her relationship with her kids is strange and limited in some ways. There have been comments made here about her feeling that she does not deserve to be happy or to enjoy certain things, this could be a contributing factor. But I think her issues stem from a more .. spiritual level ... although I'm not clear and how that might be.


Ariah repeatedly asks God to give her what she thinks she needs (husbands, more children) and says once she has these things she will not ask for anything more. She also repeats that she is damned. There is definitely something spiritual going on here.



Fri Sep 23, 2011 7:14 pm
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Post Re: Part II: They Were Married, First-Born, The Little Family
Ariah lives in her sad little world where she is certain Dirk will leave her. She does not allow herself to fully engage life. She keeps to herself even around Dirk's friends. She ends up pulling away from Dirk because of her own insecurities. Even with her own parents she is distant. She tries to put up a front with them because the kids need grandparents while Dirk thinks they are all hunky dory.

They were married in a haze of discovering each other. I think Ariah was a little too fond of alcohol. She used it to try and drown her fear that he would leave her.

She had the fear that Gilbert was the father of Chandler. I think she never let go of that fear for when Royall was born, she stated that this one was Dirk's. I think she tried to love Chandler but she was haunted with the memory of Gilbert. Then Mrs. Burnaby came to visit her and told her that she knew that Dirk was not the father. This just instilled the doubt deeper.

I think she was a little aloof from both her children. She had moments when she would forget their names. She just lived in her own little world, not letting anyone too close for fear she would be hurt. I think this was more a deep rooted insecurity rather than a result of Gilbert's killing himself.

She is so sure a daughter would make her life complete. She thought the same thing about marriage and her other two children.



Sun Sep 25, 2011 5:42 pm
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Post Re: Part II: They Were Married, First-Born, The Little Family
smileyface,
I agree. We don't know much about Ariah before her engagement to Gilbert, except that she taught. However, it does seem that she never had much of a social life. She is very self-involved and seems to want her married life to Dirk to remain closed and inward also. She wants the "family" to be removed from the outside world.



Sun Sep 25, 2011 7:37 pm
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