An Atheist in the Woods

An atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees"!
"What powerful rivers"!
"What beautiful animals"!
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder
& saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.
He tripped & fell o n the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but
saw that the bear was right on top of him,
reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
"You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist
and even credit creation to cosmic accident."
"Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?
Am I to count you as a believer"? The atheist looked directly into the light,
"It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now,
but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian"?

"Very Well," said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed.
And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together,
bowed his head and spoke the following:

"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."

that is awesome

...

Ah, an atheist captured in between science and religion, using reverse-engineering on the God he does not worship nor accept.

Does anyone else smell the irony here?

Chris OConnor wrote:An Atheist in the Woods

An atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees"!
"What powerful rivers"!
"What beautiful animals"!
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder
& saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.
He tripped & fell o n the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but
saw that the bear was right on top of him,
reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
"You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist
and even credit creation to cosmic accident."
"Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?
Am I to count you as a believer"? The atheist looked directly into the light,

"You never called, you never wrote, you never responded to my attempts at prayer in a meaningful way! What was I to think? I concluded that either you didn't care or you didn't exist. So this is how you let me know you don't love me? Thanks a lot!"

Chris OConnor wrote:An Atheist in the Woods

An atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees"!
"What powerful rivers"!
"What beautiful animals"!
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder
& saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.
He tripped & fell o n the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but
saw that the bear was right on top of him,
reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
"You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist
and even credit creation to cosmic accident."
"Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?
Am I to count you as a believer"? The atheist looked directly into the light,

"If you're as nice and forgiving as you are said to be, why can't you stop a bear from killing an innocent person? You're not the God of bears are you? If this is how God treats humans right before they die, I want a freaking refund!"

LOL a refund

that was so funny I sent it to my Christian family members to give them a laugh. Thanks for sharing.

I will never get tired of this saying. Ever. I have to forward this to every non-atheist I know...

Chris OConnor wrote:An Atheist in the Woods

An atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees"!
"What powerful rivers"!
"What beautiful animals"!
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder
& saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.
He tripped & fell o n the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but
saw that the bear was right on top of him,
reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
"You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist
and even credit creation to cosmic accident."
"Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?
Am I to count you as a believer"? The atheist looked directly into the light,
"It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now,
but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian"?

"Very Well," said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed.
And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together,
bowed his head and spoke the following:

"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."

Explain this please? I don't get why it is funny. The guy is an athiest but he is ok with a Christian bear? I must have missed something.

The atheist was intending for the bear to not kill him as a Christian bear (I don't know why he thought that, but he did.) When God made the bear christian, the bear said the prayer that all Christians do before they eat a meal. I think the funny part of this story is the irony-the atheist asked for a Christian, and he got one.

Sorry for my terrible explanation It's somewhat hard to put into words well.