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The Last Nickel

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Chris OConnor

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The Last Nickel

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The Last Nickel

A father walks into a restaurant with his young son.
He gives the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him
occupied.

Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the
face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the back.

The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps
choking. Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help..

A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking
woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his
pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.

After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.

Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the
nickel to the father and walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic.. Are you a doctor? "

'No,' the woman replied. I'm with the IRS.
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MaryLupin

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:laugh:
I've always found it rather exciting to remember that there is a difference between what we experience and what we think it means.
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Thomas Hood
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While attempting to confirm that chewing gum might cause a bezoar in moles, I found this:

"A 11/2-year-old was brought to the emergency department with drooling, cough, and dysphagia of sudden onset. Chest x-ray examination revealed a radiopaque object, which appeared to be stacked coins, just below the cricopharyngeus. Upper endoscopy confirmed that the child had four coins in the proximal esophagus that were wrapped with a peculiar sticky wax-like substance. When pulled on, the wax substance showed the taffy-pull sign on grasping by the coin retrieval instrument. The mass was advanced to the stomach; one coin was separated with difficulty and then easily removed with a coin retriever. The remaining three adhered coins (2 dimes, 1 penny) then were grasped in toto and withdrawn easily from the stomach. The parents reported that their child was chewing gum just before the onset of symptoms and was a regular user of gum despite her young age."
http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/c ... /102/2/e22

The article details the dangers and liabilities of chewing gum for children.
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No ha, ha

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Hello Thomas:

Um, and the punch line is?

Not playing tag with you on this one. I worked at a surgical center for years, scary what was pulled out of kids, adults too, and not just from the mouth.

FYI for parents, number one choking hazard, hotdogs! They are the exact width of a child's esophagus. Please cut all hotdogs in half, lenthwise.

Good deed done for the day!

Suzanne
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Thomas Hood
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Re: No ha, ha

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Suzanne wrote:Um, and the punch line is?
Teach children not to carry coins in the mouth :)
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Hello Thomas:

Suzanne wrote:
Um, and the punch line is?
Thomas Hood wrote:
Teach children not to carry coins in the mouth
That would be more of a moral, right? But I'll live that up to a semantics hobbyist, is there one around here we know? :P

Suzanne
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Thomas Hood
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Suzanne wrote: Thomas Hood wrote:
Teach children not to carry coins in the mouth
That would be more of a moral, right?
Well, not exactly, but a good question. "Don't carry coins in your mouth" is similar to "Don't play with matches" and "Don't run with scissors." It is prudential advice. A moral often relates to character, especially in dealing with others. Be fair, kind, and generous, and the same will be returned to you. What goes around comes around. Don't underestimate the importance of others.

In Aesop's fable of the Lion and the Mouse, the lion spares the mouse, and the mouse releases the ensnared lion. One retelling:

"Once when a Lion was asleep a little Mouse began running up and down upon him; this soon wakened the Lion, who placed his huge paw upon him, and opened his big jaws to swallow him. "Pardon, O King," cried the little Mouse: "forgive me this time, I shall never forget it: who knows but what I may be able to do you a turn some of these days?" The Lion was so tickled at the idea of the Mouse being able to help him, that he lifted up his paw and let him go. Some time after the Lion was caught in a trap, and the hunters who desired to carry him alive to the King, tied him to a tree while they went in search of a waggon to carry him on. Just then the little Mouse happened to pass by, and seeing the sad plight in which the Lion was, went up to him and soon gnawed away the ropes that bound the King of the Beasts. "Was I not right?" said the little Mouse.

Little friends may prove great friends."

http://www.pagebypagebooks.com/Aesop/Ae ... se_p1.html

Isn't semantics wonderful? :)
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semantics

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Hello Thomas:

May I call you Tom now? I'm jealous of Penelope.

Thomas Hood wrote:
Isn't semantics wonderful?
Yes, and a lot of fun too.

I remember that tale of the lion and the mouse from my childhood. I have always loved Aesop, I preferred to read his fables to my children over the stories of the Grimm brothers. I love them, but thought they would induce nightmares.

In my house, "Good things come to good people" is favored. It has become a mantra for my husband. Tried and true advice, my kids roll their eyes at it now, but, once in a while I will hear one of them repeating it to another. Ut, Oh, can already feel your wheels turning, mantra, I have to choose my words so carefully!

Before we are kicked off for being "off topic", I have to say that my anthropology Professor loved the RongoRongo info you provided. And I say that with a clean nose, I'm just enraptured with Napa Rui and wanted to share. She told me I was a pleasure to have in her class, I haven't heard that in over 20 years. I put it on the fridge, "look what mommy did"!

Suzanne
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Re: semantics

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Suzanne wrote:Hello Thomas:

May I call you Tom now?
Please do.
Before we are kicked off for being "off topic", I have to say that my anthropology Professor loved the RongoRongo info you provided. And I say that with a clean nose, I'm just enraptured with Rapa Nui and wanted to share. She told me I was a pleasure to have in her class, I haven't heard that in over 20 years. I put it on the fridge, "look what mommy did"!
I have learned more when I have gone off topic and researched and conversed on the side.

Tom
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Chris OConnor

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Well this little joke has sure turned into an educational experience. :cool:
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