Hi Chris,

Thanks for all of the feedback. I really appreciate it. The website leaves a lot to be desired, but I'm working on improving it. Maybe one day (when I'm more successful!) I will get a more professional site for my work. As for the target audience, it's always been a problem for me because the book uses the conventions a classic children's fantasy adventure to tackle more adult, complicated themes. So far the readers who have really enjoyed the book have all been adults! But I wouldn't think it was suitable for anyone under around twelve. This is one of the reasons why I think the cover was a mistake. But we live and learn

You might want to go through the online chapters and add a space between each paragraph as this would make it easier to read, but so far this is good stuff. I have no idea why you think this isn't suitable for young people, but I am only 1/2 way through chapter one. Remember, the Harry Potter series has some dark elements but the author became a billionaire by targeting both children AND adults. I'd suggest you not say things to limit your target market such as "this book may not be suitable for children," unless you have really given that some thought. You'll miss out on a ton of book sales as parents get attracted to the cover art and back cover description, but then run into your disclaimer.

Oh, and the web site is actually fantastic. I'm not criticizing the site design. I believe this is a free template site, but it is still very effective.

From your use of the word "lust" in the description and how the Uncle told Tom to "wait until you feel it's right" to bring his friend around I am wondering if Tom and Jack are gay. Or maybe Tom has a secret that he wants to share with Jack...

Well now you have me wanting to read more. Good story so far.

Actually I regret the choice of 'lust'. I would have preferred desire. And no I didn't mean to give any sense of a gay relationship. But there is an element of romance in the story, but bittersweet. I'm really pleased you liked what you read. That's encouraging I think the problem with the early chapters is that they do seem to be suitable for younger readers, but the story gets a lot darker and more demanding as it goes on.

Sounds like an interesting concept. It has similarities to the Chronicles of Narnia, yes? Is it in print yet?

Yes, it is in print. If you check out the webpage it has info about where it's available, although to be honest you can get it most places. And yes, Narnia was an influence, although I think it's fair to say The Magic Lands is a very different kind of book. But the influence is there. Along with lots of other strange and wonderful stuff!

Hope you don't mind me sharing this new review from Amazon

'This book is the story of two fourteen year old boys who find themselves transported into a realm of magic and nightmare.
Reminiscent of the Chronicles of Narnia, the story quickly turns into a dark tale of nightmare, lust and cruelty as the two boys find themselves locked in a contest against the ultimate evil, with the stakes being not only their lives, but their souls as well.
Joining Tom Lewis and Jack Barton as they journey through the contantly changing dreamscape of The Magic Lands is like sitting down with Alice In Wonderland and Rob Zombie to drop some acid.
Loaded with iconic imagery, The Magic Lands is a tour de force into a surreal realm dominated by evil and insidious temptation.'

As a children's librarian, I have discovered how much the cover draws a reader. That said, I put off reading a series I have now come to enjoy because of the cover art. It is a fickle thing - people are different and we choose to pick up a book based upon the title, the art, and the author. We choose to purchase the book based upon the summary of the book and reviews from others.

If you are 'unknown' as an author you have a daunting challenge in catching the reader's eye and then keeping our attention via the summary. Personally, I like a book that informs (setting in a familiar place and time), entertains (some fantasy or humour), or I can relate to as a woman, an educator, a parent, or from a link to my past.

The best advice I have received is "write what you know" but the rest can be a shot in the dark. An illustrator I like is Brian Selznick. He has done books for many authors and for himself as an author. I think you need to find someone who 'gets' what you are trying to say in your book.

Good luck to you!!