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One Moment

A platform to express and share your enthusiasm and passion for poetry. What are your treasured poems and poets? Don't hesitate to showcase the poems you've penned yourself!
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BWM
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Re: One Moment

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If the whole world I once could see
All people of every land standing together free
Then to the moment might I say
Linger awhile, and let this memory never fade away.

Once you put the seed in my head Cattleman, I had to have a crack at it, didn't I.
I think the last line is the weakest now. You could run it so many different ways.
Microsofts worst nightmare: More Linux and TOR, less marketing and advertising.
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Cattleman
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Re: One Moment

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Very good, BWM, I actually think I like your opening line better than mine.

Anybody else out there want to take a shot at paraphrasing Goethe?
Love what you do, and do what you love. Don't listen to anyone else who tells you not to do it. -Ray Bradbury

Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it. -Robert A. Heinlein
BWM
Almost Comfortable
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Re: One Moment

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How about this for a collaborative effort:

If the whole world I once could see
All people of every land standing together free
No man enslaved, no woman oppressed
All children fed and warmly dressed
Then to this moment might I say
Linger awhile, so as this memory never fade away.

The last line is still not there for me; should the poem ask for the moment to only last in the writers memory? Your line: Oh Wondrous moment stay, stay, stay, is the right sentiment but the wrong wording. [Or maybe it's the perfect wording if we drop the ''Linger awhile''] What do you think? Can anyone help fix the end of this poem.
Microsofts worst nightmare: More Linux and TOR, less marketing and advertising.
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