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Women Who Work by Ivanka Trump (Satirical Review)

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Women Who Work by Ivanka Trump (Satirical Review)

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Throughout the course of history, there have appeared a number of literary works that changed the world and defined the human experience for all time. Over four thousand years ago, The Epic of Gilgamesh appeared on cuneiform tablets and sanctified the role of the mythical hero while reflecting upon the nature of life and death. Then came the Bible and Koran, which laid the foundation for the world’s three great monotheistic faiths. Add to these works the writings of such important figures as Plato, Socrates, Shakespeare, Marx, Kant, Tolstoy, etc., and you have a veritable paradise of literary and intellectual accomplishment.

And now, in 2017, Ivanka Trump’s Women Who Work: Rewriting the Rules for Success has earned a coveted place in this sacred realm.

The eloquence, beauty, and sheer power of her prose will lift you into the literary version of the Empyrean Heaven. Ivanka has been criticized for excessively quoting from a formidable—if involuntary—army of artists, philosophers, activists, historical figures, and other influential people in her book. But this only shows her greatness as an author and a person. When you read a sentence like “I’m a woman who works—at every aspect of my life,” it is as clear as the crystal of Ms. Trump’s drinking glasses that she is an intellectual whose powers of thought and perception are the equal of—if not superior to—the people she’s quoting. But instead of filling an entire book with her deep insights, she is more than willing to share space with others—a move that highlights her humility and generosity.

And should we be surprised by her magnanimity and philosophical brilliance? Of course not! Her father, the President of the United States, has—in just a few short months—proven himself to be one of the great leaders and philosopher-kings of our time as well as a man whose generosity would make Mother Theresa herself blush with shame.

Naturally, Ivanka quotes her father, who imparts this Hope Diamond of wisdom: “If you love what you do, and work really, really hard, you will succeed.”

What a powerful, self-affirming quote. It’s right up there with, “When you’re a star, they let you do it.”

The book is awash with great discoveries, but the one that impressed and affected me the most was the sheer difficulty of being the daughter of a billionaire. The tribulations recounted in this book were truly eye-opening and heartbreaking.

For instance, at one point, Ms. Trump writes that, “During extremely high-capacity times, like during the campaign, I went into survival mode: I worked and I was with my family; I didn’t do much else.”

Amazing. How did the poor thing hold herself together? Make no mistake about it, this passage says more about the trials and hardships of the One Percent than mansions, yachts, and monetary riches ever could.

In another page, Ivanka writes about the agony of giving up her career to serve in the White House as an advisor to her father: “On paper, this separation is straightforward, but emotionally, this was not an easy decision for me to make.”

In making a decision fraught with the kind of emotional turmoil not seen since Sophie’s Choice, Ivanka puts to shame all those women who complained about having to give up their careers because they were being sexually harassed by their bosses and no one higher up wanted to do a darn thing about it.

Ivanka also talks about how scared she was to speak at the Republican National Convention last summer: “To say I was nervous would be an understatement!"

You can’t help but sympathize with her. It must be a frightening thing indeed to speak to a group of people who wish to take your rights away.

And while millions of ordinary working women are focused on trivial things such as shopping for groceries and cooking meals (in other words, the kinds of activities fit only for Ivanka’s servants), the author finds herself in a life-and-death struggle to determine which photos to put on her Instagram account: "I began to wonder whether I had been doing women who work a disservice by not owning the reality that, because I've got an infant, I'm in my bathrobe at 7 AM and there's pureed avocado all over me.”

Never fear, working women of the world, Ivanka ended up posting photos of herself “in a messy ponytail.” So rest assured, the only difference between her and you are a few extra zeros in her bank statements.

But what really brought me to tears was when Ivanka revealed that during the 2016 presidential campaign, “I wasn’t treating myself to a massage or making much time for self-care.”

Imagine that, running a presidential campaign for a billionaire candidate and not being able to have a massage when you want one! Not since the crucifixion of Christ has personal sacrifice been this searing or ennobling.

In conclusion, go out and buy Women Who Work this instant. It is truly the Sistine Chapel of self-help literature. This book doesn’t just transcend the boundaries of philosophy; it shatters them. The ideas are heavenly, the prose is bliss, and the message rings loud and clear. To paraphrase Ivanka’s illustrious father, if you want to be a beautiful success, then you need to grab life by the (expletive)!
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Re: Women Who Work by Ivanka Trump (Satirical Review)

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I feel bad for Ivanka in a certain way. I think underneath it all that she is a decent person but she has this unbelievable dickhead for a father. She loves her father (too much according to many) and that's understandable. But the very act of loving him, makes her have to blind herself to his unrestrained total dickheadedness that tells you that a lot of him had to have rubbed off on her over the years. She has to either overlook or justify this brazen, crass, spoiled moron man-child's unpalatable spewings. How, for example, does she handle her father's statement that he grabs women by the pussy, that he forces himself on them even when they are married? Imagine your father bragging like this and you love your father--how do you process that? How do you make it okay in your mind so that you can continue to love him?

But since 53% of white female voters--the very demographic that composes Trump's sexual victims--voted for him, you have to realize that Ivanka is not alone. For example, do you believe for one second that Trump doesn't use words like nigger, spic and gook in front of his kids because I sure do. But then I know a lot of white men that do. Once I was at a friend's house and a white couple was there with their daughter who was going to spend the night. So she put on her little nightie and came into the living room where we were sitting. She was beautiful and adorable in every way. At one point, her mother (who was frankly pretty psycho) wanted to get something at the store although it was after dark. Her husband didn't want her to go because "I don't want some fuckin' nigger givin' you a buncha shit." It boggled my mind that a man would talk like that in front of his 5-year-old daughter. Not a word of rebuke from his wife. I looked at the girl, whom I had been playing the slap-hand game with, and she was looking at him and all I could wonder was what was going through her mind. How many times a day does she hear that? She's simply too young to reject it. Daddy says it so it must be okay.

I imagine a lot of white females in this country grow up under identical circumstances--53% of white females voters did, at any rate. Again, to hear white women justify Trump's misogynistic spewings as "what guys talk about when they are alone with each other" tells you what kind of crap they've heard come out of their own fathers' mouths. I have never talked about groping women with other men and none have ever talked about it with me. Really, you sexually molest women and brag about it? That a woman can conclude that all men talk this way in private is very telling. It's how their fathers talk and the father colors a female's perception of men throughout her life just as the mother colors a male's perception of women. I can only conclude that Trump didn't like his mother very much. Since Trump's father was a klansmen, we don't have to wonder what kind of crap Trump heard come out of his mouth.

One would think that these women would have some self-respect and reject Trump. After all, would they want to hear some guy talking about treating their daughters that way? But the truth is, racial issues play stronger to women than gender issues. Always has. You wonder why because non-white men were given the right to vote (on paper at least) in 1870. No woman--white or otherwise--was allowed to vote in the US until 1920! White women were really treated no better than non-white minorities and yet white women clung to this idea that being white somehow made them better than those minorities even though it was clear that their role in white society was a baby-maker. Why? Because this was what their men demanded of them. The men whom they called their fathers, their brothers, their uncles, their husbands. What does she have without them? You may be treated no better than a non-white but that doesn't mean you have to identify with those non-whites. Your whiteness has to count for something, damn it!

I imagine Ivanka buries her discomfort with her father's foulness in shopping sprees and luxuries and expensive clothes and shoes, lots and lots of clothes and shoes--somehow that makes it all okay. The other 99% of white female America have to be content with pretending Trump cares about them--the same way they've had to pretend daddy cares about them and that their husbands care about them. I doubt seriously that Ivanka places her gender above her race.

Since she likes to quote daddy, here are a few she should have included (and keep reminding yourself as read through these that this guy is president):

"When somebody challenges you, fight back. Be brutal, be tough."

"One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace, good people don't go into government."

"Do you mind if I sit back a little? Because your breath is very bad--it really is."

“Part of the beauty of me is that I am very rich.”

"I wouldn't mind a little bow. In Japan, they bow. I love it. Only thing I love about Japan."

"I don’t wear a 'rug'—it’s mine. And I promise not to talk about your massive plastic surgeries that didn’t work."

"I had some beautiful pictures taken in which I had a big smile on my face. I looked happy, I looked content, I looked like a very nice person, which in theory I am."

"Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest -and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure, it's not your fault."

"There have been many bad things said about me over the years, and in some cases they’ve been true. It doesn’t bother me. If I have a fault and somebody exposes that fault or talks about that fault, you won’t hear me complain."

"Well, someone’s doing the raping, Don! I mean, somebody’s doing it. Who’s doing the raping? Who’s doing the raping?" (Trump's defense on CNN of his assertion that Mexican immigrants are rapists)

"I think of myself as a young guy, but I'm not so young anymore. And I've been around for a long time. And it just seems that the economy does better under the Democrats than the Republicans."

"Hillary is smart, tough and a very nice person, and so is her husband. Bill Clinton was a great President. They are fine people. Hillary was roughed up by the media, and it was a tough campaign for her, but she’s a great trooper. Her history is far from being over." (2008)

"I’ve always thought about the issue of nuclear war; it’s a very important element in my thought process. It’s the ultimate, the ultimate catastrophe, the biggest problem this world has, and nobody’s focusing on the nuts and bolts of it. It’s a little like sickness. People don’t believe they’re going to get sick until they do. Nobody wants to talk about it. I believe the greatest of all stupidities is people’s believing it will never happen, because everybody knows how destructive it will be, so nobody uses weapons. What bullshit."

“The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.”

“Nobody cares about the talent [in beauty pageants]. There’s only one talent you care about, and that’s the look talent. You don’t give a shit if a girl can play a violin like the greatest violinist in the world. You want to know what does she look like.”

“Rosie O'Donnell's disgusting both inside and out. You take a look at her, she's a slob. She talks like a truck driver, she doesn't have her facts, she'll say anything that comes to her mind.”

"I would never buy Ivana any decent jewels or pictures. Why give her negotiable assets?"

“I’ve been so lucky in terms of that whole world. It is a dangerous world out there — it’s scary, like Vietnam. Sort of like the Vietnam era. It is my personal Vietnam. I feel like a great and very brave soldier.” (on being sexually promiscuous)

"How do you define leadership? I mean, leadership is a very strange word because, you know, some people have it, some people don't and nobody knows why."

"It’s my opinion that to a large extent, Mike Tyson was railroaded in this case."

“I want five children, like in my own family, because with five, then I will know that one will be guaranteed to turn out like me.”

"I think Eminem is fantastic, and most people think I wouldn’t like Eminem. And did you know my name is in more black songs than any other name in hip-hop? Black entertainers love Donald Trump. Russell Simmons told me that."

"A young rapper named Mac Miller just did a song called 'Donald Trump' and I've just been told it hit over 54 million… 54 million people. I want some money, Mac. Give me some money. I'm entitled to 25% at least. Mac, I want money!"

“Any negative polls are fake news, just like the CNN, ABC, NBC polls in the election. Sorry, people want border security and extreme vetting.”

“Happy New Year to all, including to my many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don’t know what to do. Love!”

“I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me – and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.”

“If I were running ‘The View’, I’d fire Rosie O’Donnell. I mean, I’d look at her right in that fat, ugly face of hers, I’d say ‘Rosie, you’re fired.’”

“My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.”

“I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.”

“I thought being President would be easier than my old life.”

"Look, having nuclear—my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart—you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I'm one of the smartest people anywhere in the world—it’s true!—but when you're a conservative Republican they try—oh, do they do a number—that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune—you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged—but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me—it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are (nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what's going to happen and he was right—who would have thought?), but when you look at what's going on with the four prisoners—now it used to be three, now it’s four—but when it was three and even now, I would have said it's all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don't, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years—but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us."

"I watch the speeches of these people, and they say the sun will rise, the moon will set, all sorts of wonderful things will happen, and people are saying, 'What is going on? I just want want a job.'"

"When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. All the time. When did we beat Japan at anything? They send their cars over here by the millions, and what do we do? When was the last time you saw a Chevrolet in Tokyo? It doesn't exist, folks."

"I have so many websites. I have them all over the place. I hire people ... it costs me three dollars."
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