Taylor,

To be honest I'm just not understanding some of your comments such as:

"How odd indeed was this "book" it may well do to criticize, but what would be the point, I'd feel worse for it."

And:

"I can well understand cultural differences, those are easy enough to set aside, with this book my mind is boggled as to who is the target audience other than some foolish nitwit which is what I am become, for laying out my money for it."

Chris OConnor wrote:This sounds like quite an interesting book. I'm seriously doubting anything will ever bridge the gap between Middle Eastern and Western traditions. I think the Middle East has some very outdated practices that need to be addressed. I'm sure you'll agree. But I don't find the oppression of women humorous.

Well said.

From the book, pg. 133 end of second paragraph;

"it is no secret that Arabs are currently living their worst nightmare."

This line is from the concluding chapter, It should have been the opening line of the book.
Much of the book covers arranged weddings, and how to live happily ever after, its deluded, the wedding stuff should have been at a minimum parallel too a more realistic world setting, for instance, a follow up to that proposed new opening line should also be "and the remaining population of earth is losing sleep over that nightmare", The author pays minimal lip service to, as example, honor killing. I'll give her credit for her general overview of Wahabism and the extremism born from it, Don't get me wrong here, for some this may well be an awesome literary work, I just don't agree with the delivery, maybe the humor was hidden in cultural meanings that eluded me, but I doubt it, The author advertised the book internationally, I really did not get the idea from the book that there was value to that large a market, The book may be cute to a small circle of people but international, forget it, its a total stinker. Chris's linked article's and a wiki search would be a better read than "the daily hazards of a middle eastern housewife" That's what I meant Chris, by my limited comments, I'll add that to put much more into a review of the master piece of work that this book is not, would be to give it deeper insight into the Arab world than what Soad Nasr offers with her book.

Hey Taylor,

Thanks for your feedback. The book is a semi-autobiography, so what I narrate is either stuff I have experienced or heard about. I did not go into depth about honor killings, for instance, because I have'nt experienced it. We have all heard of the stories that were in chris's links a thousand times. I know wedding preparations might have been boring for you but this is what I inteded to talk about. I purposefully did not want to discuss too much about the political dilemma we are living in. The book's genre is placed under memoirs targeting women. It is not a political story. From the title, it is the daily hazards of a Middle Eastern Wife, not wives. Sorry for disappointing you but if you wanted to hear that I was beaten to death, I have to say, sadly, I was'nt.

if you wanted to hear that I was beaten to death, I have to say, sadly, I was'nt.

If this was the case than it would have been a biography, not semi-auto.

And no, I was not looking for or expecting a story of tragedy.

Why the story suffers;

We here in the states particularly, do not get an accurate understanding of life in your home land. We suffer from our media's bias's, and limited contact with as you describe, middle class educated people, voices like yours. Voices like yours are important. To here from people in similar class positions and how they handle their typical daily dealings, whether it be a wedding, dishes, diapers, an auto repair, an insanely intrusive relative, any number of situations you describe in your book, its how we or other westerners learn about commonalities, Common purposes. You say that you only had a limited audience, but you were wrong, your audience was larger than you expected, your book needs to be that large also. Via the internet, your book reached out to a middle aged, middle class, southern U.S. male with an inquisitive nature, you sold it, I bought it. Be proud of your self, you did a good job. But you did not research your potentiality, That's the disappointment, Politics has to be parallel, even if you were only targeting women and weddings. Are not women everywhere interested in more than just weddings? aren't women interested in the treatment of other or all women?, Especially when thoughts are proposed from the POV of a woman that is right there, right where so much of the worlds shit is going on. I'm a dude who loves women, I for one am most certainly interested in how all women are treated. My mum once told me, "Never get mad at that little old lady driving slow in front of you, it may be me", What a beautiful thought, I revere women, that's what drew me to your book, not mere curiosity, thought, that is something I wrote, it was not entirely accurate. But see, there you have more of the story of me. It must be a story of more than just one, because not all have the opportunity to avail their voice, that's again where your research failed. Its where your potential failed, You put-off an important version. You paid lip service to changes that are important to the human rights of women in the middle east, that's tragic, that's the demise of your cute little story, You failed your audience, because you failed to research and research again. I check out the books linked by the so called authors who advertise here on booktalk, most of them stink, why because like you, they fail in any adequate research and as a result turn out genuine drivel. You can not nor will you make me feel worse because of the bore that you say I experienced from your book, I wasn't bored, I was disappointed, not that I need to hear stories of tragedy, Stories of triumph, that's what I like, you offer none, What you offered was conformist at best.

I understand what you are trying to say but again, this is what I intended to do. There are no stories of triumph in my life. Just a normal housewife/stay-at-home mom that has her occasional drama with her mother-in-law. Remember that I am trying to bridge a gap or at least to bring the gap closer together a little. Maybe I failed and as Chris said, maybe we will never be able to bridge a gap. And finally, I'll quote from the final chapter of the book:

"Some may argue that the issues I have discussed in this book seem to be trivial problems compared to the major crisis most Arabs are living in right now, but believe me, if these "trivial" problems are solved, the larger issues will gradually resolve themselves and Arabs might at least stop killing each other."

"The Daily Daily Hazards of a Middle Eastern Wife has discussed some issues many ME wives face but with a comic twist. Of course it is important to mention the not so comic part some wives really do face - the wives who encounter real hazards with no form of protection or legal rights. Fathers who force their little girls into marrying...."

I think a book like "Headscarves and Hymens" by an Egyptian female journalist is more of something that you are looking for.

While I haven't yet read your book I wouldn't go as far as to say you have failed. I think you're sensing the western frustration with Islam and the way the Middle East interacts with the rest of the world. Nothing I could say would be news to you as you live it every day. We're just sick and tired of the violence and primitive religious practices. We're afraid of Islamic extremism and to a large extent moderate Islam too. So instead of reading or discussing your book with an open mind we approach the subject with all sorts of biases.

To me it is no different than reading Hitler's Mein Kampf. Sometimes there is such evil surrounding something that you can't giggle and laugh at the lighter stuff. I'm quite sure that there is much beauty in your world and in the lives of Islamic women. But it is overshadowed by the horrors of a faith that some of us see as constricting and morally reprehensible.

I'm really sorry you were met with such hostility here. It seems you would have been greeted more openly had your book been actually trying to change things for the better as opposed to simply laughing at the current situation.

A book like Reading Lolita in Tehran: A Memoir in Books seems more honest and worthy of our time. Of course you can only write about that which you have lived and experienced. I guess I'm just clinging to the dream that one day the Middle East will join the rest of the civilized world.