Re: Can someone give me some helpful criticism??
I stood there, looking at the reflection of the beautiful sunset over the shining water at Sulfur Springs, worrying.
As a reader I'd rather see what makes the scene beautiful to the speaker, rather than being just told that it's beautiful, like "Rays from the setting sun settled on rippling water and made the springs look like golden ale." just an example. But your speaker is probably a child and so description won't be that poetic. knew that our future relied on getting home as fast as the dragon flies.
I thought at first that you meant an actual dragon and how fast it flies, but then realized that it was the insect
. I like it. It isn't a cliche like "quick as lightning" and it evokes some emotion. Maybe dragonflies are special to the speaker? Maybe they evoke some nostalgia for her past? he skin was rough but somehow it felt like silk.
Yeah this was problematic too.
Overall I feel like you've described too much. There's too much exposition and you gave too much away.
The story sounds interesting though and I liked the little details like the similes you used and such. Just need to shape it up. Your narrative hook is good too. I want to know why getting home on time is so important.