youkrst:
the bad doctrine certainly rendered me an idiot at times but i was always on the way out from the time i got in, it's just that when you dive that deep it takes a long time to come back up.
I guess I was lucky for growing up Catholic in America, Though my parents were involved in the church they never placed a heavy burden on their kids to do so as well.
My older brothers seem to have some level of faith as individuals, but for me, even as a kid I just never thought it was possible to, for instance walk on water, I tried, to this day it still is not a trick I am able to accomplish
more than that though, I just never really believed, Over the years I tried to believe, but to no avail. For many years I must have carried some subconscious guilt for that non-belief, I was always so depressed or so I thought, was it related to the notion that I did not get God, (I don't know) I thought that there must have been something wrong with my mind, Anyway, cutting to the chase, A year or so ago I just dropped the notion of God all together, I divested myself of the notion of soul, its been like a weight was lifted from my shoulders, my mind is clearer, I don't have depressed thoughts, Like I said, was there some sub-conscious nagging going on, I can only surmise that yes indeed there was.
I am surrounded by people with some level of faith, I am not rude to them, though I have dropped the atheist label on myself if for nothing other than the shock value it holds for some. I had to order the Carrier book from amazon, there is no book dealer in the county in which I reside that has stocked the book, none of Carriers books for that matter, included in that un-stocked list is DM Murdock, Doherty, I did see one by Hitchens and one by Dawkins, tokens of best seller lists I surmise.