Some Christian Jokes - Yes, you may be offended...

Mr. Pessimistic

How many Xtians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

* NONE, you heathen scum...God creates light, lightbulbs are of......SCIENCE!!!!

Why are Xtian women so frustrated?

* After 2000 years, no second cumming

A Pagan, a Jew and a Xtian walk into a bar. The Pagan and the Jew say to the Xtian: JESUS CHRIST! Get off your high horse and stop stealing our traditions!

Xtians say: "Next time you think you are perfect, try walking on water.

I say: "Next time you think you are perfect, try not getting nailed to a cross".

If God hates homosexuals, why was his son hanging around with 12 guys all the time and WHY were they always washing each other's feet?

Mr. P.

But atheism is no more a religion than not playing chess is a hobby. - Robert Sawyer - Sci Fi Author

I'm not saying it's usual for people to do those things but I(with the permission of God) have raised a dog from the dead and healed many people from all sorts of ailments. - Asana Boditharta (former booktalk troll)

"The Sentient may percieve and love the universe, but the universe cannot percieve and love the sentient. The universe sees no distinction between the multitude of creatures and elements which comprise it. All are equal. None is favored...It cannot control what it creates and it cannot, it seems, be controlled by its creations (though a few might decieve themselves otherwise). Those who curse the workings of the universe curse that which is deaf. Those who strike out at those workings fight that which is inviolate. Those who shake their fists, shake their fists at blind stars." - Michael Moorcock in the "Queen of the Swords"

Chris OConnor

"Next time you think you are perfect, try not getting nailed to a cross."

You're right. That was completely offensive. Have any more? LOL

Mr. Pessimistic

I drew a cartoon a while back using that "not getting nailed to a cross" line. I came up with that after seeing a REAL bumper sticker that had the first part of the joke (next time your think your perfect....) on it.

I was going to do another cartoon with Jesus getting nailed on the cross...you know...nailed, on the cross...facing the wood and getting it in the bum. I stopped doing my strip at that time and then found that someone else had done somthing similar...but that person used a hot looking girl, I would have used a Roman Centurian.

Mr. P.

But atheism is no more a religion than not playing chess is a hobby. - Robert Sawyer - Sci Fi Author

I'm not saying it's usual for people to do those things but I(with the permission of God) have raised a dog from the dead and healed many people from all sorts of ailments. - Asana Boditharta (former booktalk troll)

"The Sentient may percieve and love the universe, but the universe cannot percieve and love the sentient. The universe sees no distinction between the multitude of creatures and elements which comprise it. All are equal. None is favored...It cannot control what it creates and it cannot, it seems, be controlled by its creations (though a few might decieve themselves otherwise). Those who curse the workings of the universe curse that which is deaf. Those who strike out at those workings fight that which is inviolate. Those who shake their fists, shake their fists at blind stars." - Michael Moorcock in the "Queen of the Swords"


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