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Ugly Babies
The ugly baby topic has been shaken to death, lol, but still. I got this friend on facebook and it's someone I've known since middle school. What a beautiful girl and a beautiful personality. My brother said he never slept with her and you know I tried - got pretty close once - but nothing ever came of it. What a pretty thing. I'd describe her but I don't want to give her away.
Anyway, she had a kid. And she's right back to her old self except for a brief time her mammaries were mammarynormous and mammarytastic. Her kid though, o - m - g and w - t - f. Good lord. It's almost as if the child got swiped at the hospital somehow. Swiped with a baby from carny parents or worse. What a disaster this kids face is. It's hideous. Not even pity ugly - like smite it now ugly.
The fact is, the kid isn't really a newborn anymore. He has the build of a pre-toddler? I don't know what they're called but hes not a newborn. My lord.. wow! He looks like a 60 year old sailor - complete with one set of deep cheek wrinkles, crows feet, and a scowl that's worthy of a general in Genghis Khan's army. Wow man this kid just hurts your soul to look at him. You really have to turn your head away and attempt to match the ugliness of his face with a contortion of your own just to permit yourself to view him. Abomination? Maybe. Like when Vego took the baby's face in that Ghostbusters movie - it's just shiver down your spine horrid!
She posts all these pictures of it. Everyday there's new pictures and then she gets professional photographers to take black and whites and you name it. The black and whites enhance the evil in the child's geriatric scowl. This child has had a hard life of alcohol and tobacco ingestion - at least 50 years of it. That's the impression you get. You feel he's had some hard fights in his life and taken one too many to the head. He's lost friends by his own ill deeds and made a lot of enemies. His love of the seas has made his skin leathery and coarse. His outlook on life bleak. Remember the past? He chooses not to. He has little left to live for with old clothes and no income. No matter he'll steal some. He had a love once, a one eyed prostitute that he wasn't able to purchase from her pimp. He can't be more than 2 and he has a lifetime of stories in his worn out, hideous, countenance.
It doesn't change in any of the photos either. There he is ugly. There he is ugly in black and white. There he is ugly crawling. There he is ugly in a pen. I think back in the day this kid would have been seen as one possessed by a demon or a bad omen and chucked from some cliff. It would have been hard for the mother but she would have been convinced that it was the devil's fault and not her own. That she had been freed of such an evil burden she would have been satisfied.
Can someone love something enough as to be so blind? I doubt it. Blind people would sense this child and lament that they had no eye sight with which to rob themselves of with their canes. She must see it. Can't she? She must post the pictures on facebook and then tell herself what a 'beautiful baby' inside her head and feel the lie burn as a smile is forced and the eyes blink one or two times to distract any onlookers from the fallacy taking place between her lips.
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Re: Ugly Babies
I have often wondered how two beautiful people can produce an ugly child. I once worked in a preschool, one of the kids was a 2 or 3 year old with a 70 year old face. Big head, deep lines, huge features and a constant scowl (he was never mad, his face just looked that way) and his parents insisted on dressing him up in sailors outfits....everday. When you said that the child you are referring too looked like a sailor this boy I used to watch is what it reminded me of, I just about died laughing, I thought no one felt the way I did. Thanks for the post, a good laugh is the way I always love to start my day.
_________________ H.M. Rush "A mans errors are his portals of discovery" - James Joyce
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Re: Ugly Babies
When we had our first child, my wife and I would walk to the nursery where the babies were kept in between their time in the room with mama. They kept the babies in clear retangular boxes (I don't remember what they were called), on rolling carts, one baby per, cart. At one end of the box would be posted either a pink or blue card with the babies name. If the child hadn't been named yet, the card would show the Last name and gender. One of the mother's last name was Human and it caused quite a stir to read the card, Human Male.
_________________ “I think one of [James Hoffmeier’s] most important points is that we have unrealistic expectations for what archaeology can offer us as far as ‘proving’ Exodus: ‘After all, what evidence, short of an inscription in a Proto-Canaanite script stating “bricks made by Hebrew slaves” would be considered proof that the Israelites were in Egypt. Archaeology’s ability … is quite limited.’” Jeff Lambert, Editorial Associate, Biblical Archaeological Review. via email January 26, 2010 8:20:58 AM. [email receipiant redacted for privacy reasons. See Thread-The Bible's Buried Secrets for full text.]
Last edited by stahrwe on Thu Mar 18, 2010 2:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Ugly Babies
bleachededen wrote:
Whose last name is Human?
I mean, seriously!?!
True story. We have six Humans in our local phone directory.
_________________ “I think one of [James Hoffmeier’s] most important points is that we have unrealistic expectations for what archaeology can offer us as far as ‘proving’ Exodus: ‘After all, what evidence, short of an inscription in a Proto-Canaanite script stating “bricks made by Hebrew slaves” would be considered proof that the Israelites were in Egypt. Archaeology’s ability … is quite limited.’” Jeff Lambert, Editorial Associate, Biblical Archaeological Review. via email January 26, 2010 8:20:58 AM. [email receipiant redacted for privacy reasons. See Thread-The Bible's Buried Secrets for full text.]
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Re: Ugly Babies
You probably have more humans than that in there!
But really, that's hilarious. I guess I took it for granted that no one was actually named Human. Now I know I'm wrong. I don't envy those people the teasing and disbelief that name most certainly warrants them. Poor bastards.
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Thanks for the post, a good laugh is the way I always love to start my day.
