Online reading group and book discussion forum
  HOME FORUMS BLOGS BOOKS LINKS GAMES DONATE ADVERTISE CONTACT  
Register • Login
View unanswered posts | View active topics It is currently Fri Sep 03, 2010 4:00 am

Home Page » Forum index » Fiction Genre Forums » General Fiction

All times are UTC - 5 hours



Upcoming Chats 
Casual Chat every Sunday 11:00 am Eastern • Casual Chat every Thursday at 9:00 pm Eastern




Post new topic Reply to topic  Page 2 of 2
  [ 22 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2
Previous topic | Next topic 
Love the One You're With - Emily Giffin 
Author Message
Saumya
Years of membership
Getting comfortable


Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 7
Location: Atlanta
Thanks: 0
Thanked: 0 time in 0 post
Gender: None specified

Thanks
Post 
I am loving this discussion!


I complete agree that a clean break may be necessary if there are still feelings there.

It is ironic that we are discussing this topic today. I was watching old Desperate Housewives episodes on Lifetime. There was a scene where Bree's husband talks about how he loves her, but there is not any passion there. His friend tells him that sometimes you have to make sacrifices for love..even if that sacrifice is passion.

I love how this book almost makes the good, sweet husband sort of an antagonist because he is so perfect. His absence of challenge makes him lackluster. Leo has the benefit of being in the past. Break ups and time have an odd way of shining a light of idealism on events. It goes with that whole "hindsight is 20/20" idea.

This is very random, but there is one part of the book where Ellen discusses how she admired Leo, wanted to be like him. But Margot points out that Leo makes her needy, overly emotional, etc. I felt that way about my ex a lot. I admired his ability to do whatever he wanted, march to the beat of his own drum, and that was a part of the awe and attraction. But in the end, we are best with the ones who bring out the best in us. I think Ellen needed to relive that to remember it.
Mon Jun 08, 2009 7:56 pm
Profile
getshorty
User avatar
Years of membership
Feeling comfortable now


Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 22
Location: Phoenix
Thanks: 0
Thanked: 0 time in 0 post
Gender: None specified

Thanks
Post 
Saumya wrote:
I am loving this discussion!

I love how this book almost makes the good, sweet husband sort of an antagonist because he is so perfect. His absence of challenge makes him lackluster. Leo has the benefit of being in the past. Break ups and time have an odd way of shining a light of idealism on events. It goes with that whole "hindsight is 20/20" idea.

This is very random, but there is one part of the book where Ellen discusses how she admired Leo, wanted to be like him. But Margot points out that Leo makes her needy, overly emotional, etc. I felt that way about my ex a lot. I admired his ability to do whatever he wanted, march to the beat of his own drum, and that was a part of the awe and attraction. But in the end, we are best with the ones who bring out the best in us. I think Ellen needed to relive that to remember it.


Agreed, because Andy was easy and non-confrontational, Ellen at times felt like she had settled, because the ever present intensity and spark wasn't there, but while that spark brings out passion, on the down side, it brought out in her the neediness as well.

She did admire Leo's independent spirit, something she was lacking when they were together and I think caused their breakup. Jump forward the years and now Ellen has a successful career and Leo is attracted and wants her. This time, Leo does not bring out her neediness, she has matured, but the old time intensity is back, something she doesn't share with Andy.

I could yammer on about this all night........gosh.
Mon Jun 08, 2009 10:10 pm
Profile
getshorty
User avatar
Years of membership
Feeling comfortable now


Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 22
Location: Phoenix
Thanks: 0
Thanked: 0 time in 0 post
Gender: None specified

Thanks
Post 
Here are question #2 and #3. We've talked a bit about #2, that is why I jumped ahead with 3.

2. After running into Leo on the street, Ellen becomes very preoccupied with thoughts of him. Do you think that this is a normal reaction to running into someone you once loved? Do you feel that it is okay to maintain relationships with exes? Explain.

3. The Grahams’ world is vastly different from the world in which Ellen grew up. Would you be attracted to the Grahams’ world? Do you feel that a desire to leave Ellen’s roots behind played a role in her initial friendship with Margot? Do you think it is possible to maintain a close friendship with someone from a much different background? Why or why not?
Tue Jun 09, 2009 8:11 am
Profile
getshorty
User avatar
Years of membership
Feeling comfortable now


Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 22
Location: Phoenix
Thanks: 0
Thanked: 0 time in 0 post
Gender: None specified

Thanks
Post 
We had a fun 2 day run, anyone else want to participate in this discussion?
Sun Jul 05, 2009 2:36 pm
Profile
lemme think
Years of membershipYears of membership
Feeling comfortable now


Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 18
Thanks: 5
Thanked: 0 time in 0 post
Gender: None specified

Thanks
Post 
I think I may need to find my copy of this book and finish it! But I did read enough to share some thoughts.

Question 1: I am not a believer in fate or destiny. I believe life is an incredible journey that could never be lived the same way twice. Each decision/circumstance takes us down a different path. For instance, every time someone moves or starts a new job, they meet new people, have different choices, etc.

An interesting thing about the fate/destiny debate is that while I find the idea stifling that somehow my life should be following a script, and prefer to be open to my wonderfully unscripted life, I know many who believe in fate find that belief just as exhilerating.

So, I do not think it was fate for the two to meet, but it has presented Ellen with some choices that may definitely impact her future.
Sun Jul 05, 2009 6:25 pm
Profile
getshorty
User avatar
Years of membership
Feeling comfortable now


Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 22
Location: Phoenix
Thanks: 0
Thanked: 0 time in 0 post
Gender: None specified

Thanks
Post 
lemme think wrote:
Question 1: I am not a believer in fate or destiny. I believe life is an incredible journey that could never be lived the same way twice. Each decision/circumstance takes us down a different path. For instance, every time someone moves or starts a new job, they meet new people, have different choices, etc.

So, I do not think it was fate for the two to meet, but it has presented Ellen with some choices that may definitely impact her future.


This is quite thought provoking. I lean toward believing in fate and that "everything happens for a reason." Is this because of the choices we've made that lead us to a certain outcome or some destiny that guides our choices. Hmmmmm.........

And, yes, finish the book. What do you think about question #3?
Sun Jul 05, 2009 7:35 pm
Profile
realiz
Years of membership
Junior


Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 336
Thanks: 0
Thanked: 1 time in 1 post
Gender: None specified

Thanks
Post 
Hi, I haven't read this book, but am interested by the discussion and think I'll see if I can pick it up.

Quote:
I believe life is an incredible journey that could never be lived the same way twice.


vs

Quote:
I lean toward believing in fate and that "everything happens for a reason."


I think that we can make a reason for everything happening and at least discover a silver lining to everything that happens. But, I believe that every single day you wake up you make choices that affect the outcome of your life. You are not fated for a certain destiny, you find or choose your destiny.

I also believe that you can love two people emotionally but never practically and continuing a relationship with an ex if there are still feelings involved (and why would you want to if there were not?) would only damage your current relationship.
Mon Jul 20, 2009 1:31 pm
Profile
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  Page 2 of 2
  [ 22 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Home Page » Forum index » Fiction Genre Forums » General Fiction

All times are UTC - 5 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:

Recent Posts 

Recent Blogging 

Great Year as Demiurge

The ancient philosopher Plato held that God is revealed locally through a Demiurge, an artisan-like figure responsible for the fashioning and maintenance of the physical universe.… more

Posted: 1 day ago by robert tulip
Welcome.

Have you ever considered one day sitting down and tracing your family history? Don't get me wrong it takes more than one day but you get my drift I hope.  Today with the… mor e

Posted: 4 days ago by star burst
I've got a new tag

It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society - Krishnamurti

Posted: 7 days ago by Penelope
The Origins of Atomic Theory and our Modern View of Particle Physics

By Jim Watters

PowerPoint presentation in PDF format download here (7.69 MB).

Posted: 9 days ago by jim watters
New poll widget available for your blog

You'll now notice a brand new widget available for your personal blog called the "Poll Widget." You can add polls to your sidebar simply by dragging and dropping the… more

Posted: 11 days ago by Chris OConnor
OK - Getting Serious!

A tribute to our Canadian friends from an English Woman:_

An Australian Definition of a Canadian   In case anyone asks you who a Canadian is . . .     … more

Posted: 16 days ago by Penelope
How to evaluate the following basic calculus iterated integral

How to evaluate the following basic calculus iterated integral:

Posted: 17 days ago by jim watters
A lovely Wedding

Last weekend we went to the wedding of the daughter of our old friends.  We can remember her being born:-

 

Posted: 17 days ago by Penelope
Fresh from the garden

So our garden is beginning to produce an abundance of tomatoes zucchini and even some green peppers. The cantaloupes are getting bigger and one is starting to turn beige. I don… more

Posted: 17 days ago by froglipz
Hello world!

Welcome to BookTalk.org Blogs. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!

Click "edit" to get into your dashboard where you can select a theme a… mor e

Posted: 18 days ago by star burst
Some things to know about how to order pizza or fast food

In America we spend far more of our time ordering food than making it it seems, and yet, when it comes to either phone ordering OR counter ordering we don't seem to have a clu… more

Posted: 18 days ago by froglipz
Progress in Evolution

From http://www.bautforum.com/showt hread.php/106667-Evolution-cla rifications?p=1777341#post1777 341 Part of the debate here turns on the question of whether evolution displays prog… more

Posted: 19 days ago by robert tulip
University and Lady Gaga

Oh, University. Much like everything else in my life, if I don't have it, I want it. I'm currently waiting to get back to university and just sitting here in boring Orang… more

Posted: 19 days ago by genocide
Churrasco

Everyone likes a good steak but many don't know about Churrasco, a type of cooked steak from Argentina.

This is definitely my favorite steak. I know a lot of people tha… more

Posted: 19 days ago by president camacho
Death Alley By Jeff Smith

The Butterfield Stage line between Warner’s Ranch and Oak Grove was a narrow trail, dusty in summer, soggy in winter, rutted the year round. On its weekly treks, the stage always… more

Posted: 19 days ago by star burst
Caterpillars

I went out into my garden today to find that something had eaten all of my parsley. It turns out I have about 50 Black Swallowtail caterpillars munching away at my garden.

I was… more

Posted: 20 days ago by president camacho
History

Since starting with Herodotus, I've read The Will of Zeus by Stringfellow Barr, as well as Thucydides' The Peloponnesian War. I've also read the Rise and Fall of Ath… more

Posted: 20 days ago by president camacho
Rigor Mortis and other Post Mortem Changes

Once the heart stops beating, blood collects in the most dependent parts of the body (livor mortis), the body stiffens (rigor mortis), and the body begins to cool (alg… more

Posted: 20 days ago by star burst
The Cryptid Zoo: Werewolves in Cryptozoology

In folklore, werewolves are people who sometimes shapeshift into wolves. Because werewolves are usually thought to be part of the supernatural, they are seldom investigated by pe… more

Posted: 20 days ago by star burst
George Washington Tomb

George Washington Tomb

George and Martha Washington are buried on the grounds of Mount Vernon in a gated tomb, which can be seen by visitors.

http://www.visitingdc.c&hel lip; more

Posted: 22 days ago by star burst

Advertise Here

BookTalk.org Chat Room 
Enter the BookTalk.org Chat Room

Enter our Chat [0]

Casual Chats

Every Thursday
9:00 pm Eastern

Every Sunday
11:00 am Eastern

BookTalk.org Links 
Community Information
• Community Rules & Tips
• Frequently Asked Questions
• For Authors & Publishers
• Advertise on BookTalk.org
• Featured Book Suggestions
• Live Author Chat Transcripts
• Our old Ezboard/Yuku forum
• Rationally Speaking articles
• Book Discussion Leader
Support BookTalk.org
• Donate securely with PayPal
• BookTalk.org Merchandise
Social Networking

    

• BookTalk.org on Facebook.com
• BookTalk.org on Twitter.com
BookTalk.org Statistics
• Forum Statistics
• Site Statistics
• Amazon.com Sales Stats

Booktalk.org Staff 
Administrators
Chris OConnor
MidnightCoder
Moderators
Frank 013
Interbane
Saffron
Suzanne

BookTalk.org Needs Support 
We need your support! Please consider making a donation today. See who supports us.
Make a donation
RECENT DONATIONS:
Thanks Stahrwe!
• stahrwe - $50 August
• stahrwe - $50 July
• stahrwe - $50 May

Advertise Here

Kindle Wireless Reading Device

If you enjoy business bestsellers and would like to expand your business knowledge check out the quality book summaries offered by the world's leading book summary company.

F.A.C.T.S. 
FACTS: Freethought - Atheism - Critical Thinking - Science


Show us where you live! 
BookTalk.org Member Map

Advertise Here

BookTalk.org is a free book discussion group or online reading group or book club. We read and talk about both fiction and non-fiction books as a group. We host live author chats where booktalk members can interact with and interview authors. We give away free books to our members in book giveaway contests. Our booktalks are open to everybody who enjoys talking about books. Our book forums include book reviews, author interviews and book resources for readers and book lovers. Discussing books is our passion. We're a literature forum, or reading forum. Register a free book club account today! Suggest nonfiction and fiction books. Authors and publishers are welcome to advertise their books or ask for an author chat or author interview.

Navigation 
MAIN NAVIGATION

HOME • FORUMS • ABOUT • BOOKS • TRANSCRIPTS • OLD FORUMS • ADVERTISE • LINKS • BLOGS • FAQ • DONATE • TERMS OF USE • PRIVACY POLICY

BOOK FORUMS FOR ALL BOOKS WE HAVE DISCUSSED
• The Evolution of God by Robert Wright • The Tin Drum by Gunter Grass • Good Omens by Neil Gaiman • Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely • The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle: A Novel by Haruki Murakami • Predictably Irrational, Revised and Expanded Edition: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions by Dan Ariely • ALONE: Orphaned on the Ocean by Richard Logan & Tere Duperrault Fassbender • Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes • Musicophilia: Tales of Music and the Brain by Oliver Sacks • Diary of a Madman and Other Stories by Nikolai Gogol • The Passion of the Western Mind by Richard Tarnas • The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin • The Genius of the Beast: A Radical Re-Vision of Capitalism - by Howard Bloom • Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll • Empire of Illusion by Chris Hedges • The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner • The Extended Phenotype by Richard Dawkins • Smoke and Mirrors: Short Fictions and Illusions by Neil Gaiman • The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins • When Good Thinking Goes Bad by Todd C. Riniolo • House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski • American Gods: A Novel by Neil Gaiman • Primates and Philosophers: How Morality Evolved by Frans de Waal • The Enormous Room by E.E. Cummings • The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde • God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything by Christopher Hitchens • The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco • Dreams From My Father by Barack Obama • Paradise Lost by John Milton • Bad Money: Reckless Finance, Failed Politics, and the Global Crisis of American Capitalism by Kevin Phillips • The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett • Godless: How an Evangelical Preacher Became One of America's Leading Atheists by Dan Barker • The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien • The Limits of Power: The End of American Exceptionalism • Lolita • Orlando by Virginia Woolf • On Being Certain by Robert A. Burton • 50 reasons people give for believing in a god by Guy P. Harrison • Walden: Or, Life in the Woods by Henry David Thoreau • Exile and the Kingdom by Albert Camus • Our Inner Ape: A Leading Primatologist Explains Why We Are Who We Are by Frans de Waal • Your Inner Fish: A Journey into the 3.5-Billion-Year-History of the Human Body by Neil Shubin • No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy • The Age of American Unreason by Susan Jacoby • Ten Theories of Human Nature by Leslie Stevenson & David Haberman • Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad • The Stuff of Thought: Language as a Window Into Human Nature by Stephen Pinker • A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini • The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil by Philip Zimbardo • Responsibility and Judgment by Hannah Arendt • Interventions by Noam Chomsky • Godless in America by George A. Ricker • Religious Expression and the American Constitution by Franklyn S. Haiman • Deep Economy: The Wealth of Communities and the Durable Future by Phil McKibben • The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins • The Third Chimpanzee: The Evolution and Future of the Human Animal by Jared Diamond • The Woman in the Dunes by Abe Kobo • Evolution vs. Creationism: An Introduction by Eugenie C. Scott • The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals by Michael Pollan • I, Claudius : From the Autobiography of Tiberius Claudius, Born 10 B.C., Murdered and Deified A.D. 54 by Robert Graves • Breaking The Spell: Religion as a Natural Phenomenon by Daniel C. Dennett • A Peace to End All Peace: The Fall of the Ottoman Empire and the Creation of the Modern Middle East Peace by David Fromkin • The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger • The End of Faith: Religion, Terror, and the Future of Reason by Sam Harris • Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card • The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon • Value and Virtue in a Godless Universe by Erik J. Wielenberg • The March by E. L Doctorow • The Ethical Brain by Michael Gazzaniga • Freethinkers: A History of American Secularism by Susan Jacoby • Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed by Jared Diamond • The Battle for God by Karen Armstrong • The Future of Life by Edward O. Wilson • What is Good? The Search for the Best Way to Live by A. C. Grayling • Civilization and Its Enemies: The Next Stage of History by Lee Harris • Pale Blue Dot: A Vision of the Human Future in Space by Carl Sagan • How We Believe: Science, Skepticism, and the Search for God by Michael Shermer • Looking for Spinoza: Joy, Sorrow, and the Feeling Brain by Antonio Damasio • Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right by Al Franken • The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature by Matt Ridley • The Blank Slate: The Modern Denial of Human Nature by Stephen Pinker • Unweaving the Rainbow: Science, Delusion and the Appetite for Wonder by Richard Dawkins • Atheism: A Reader edited by S.T. Joshi • Global Brain: The Evolution of Mass Mind From the Big Bang To the 21st Century by Howard Bloom • The Lucifer Principle: A Scientific Expedition into the Forces of Nature by Howard Bloom • Guns, Germs and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies by Jared Diamond • The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark by Carl Sagan • Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee: An Indian History of the American West by Dee Brown • Future Shock by Alvin Toffler

OTHER PAGES WORTH EXPLORING
Baloney Detection Kit • Banned Book List • Our Amazon.com Sales • Massimo Pigliucci Rationally Speaking • Online Reading Group • Top 10 Atheism Books • FACTS Book Selections • Advertise on BookTalk.org

Copyright © BookTalk.org 2002-2010. All rights reserved.
Website developed by MidnightCoder.ca
Display Pagerank