Original Poetry

GentleReader9 · Posted: Wed Dec 03, 2008 9:51 pm Post subject:

I did not intend my terse reply to be indicative of scorn. I was merely short on time. There are different poetic styles like different kinds of visual art. Some are line drawings and some are detailed frescoes. I think Michelangelo did both kinds and took them seriously as activites worth doing. On the issue of looking like waves or not, eh. They're kind of pointy straight up for ocean waves, but who says they're ocean waves? They could be emotional waves, as the content suggests, which could be shaped like anything, or heart monitor or other vital signs waves, which are pointy. I, for one, have certainly written worse poetry in my day.

realiz · Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 12:40 pm Post subject:

GR9

giselle · Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 1:33 pm Post subject:

i think Waves is a great, fun poem with a clear connection between water waves and emotional waves. its wonderful to see people who are brave enough to experiment openly, even as a beginner.

i'm picturing the pointy stanzas as "standing waves", which occur in a river when certain currents mix ... and the waves are always there as long as the currents are there, standing upright and pointy ..

they are also a bit dangerous as they can rock your canoe in an unpredictable way, and combined with the underlying currents, can make for some rough paddling.

realiz · Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 2:21 pm Post subject:

Well, thanks everyone for your kind comments, but if I'm going to post poetry I'll have to learn to take some critiquing, you can be brutal now. Here is one more and if anyone else has a poem they've written about pain, or wants to write one, please do.

Pain

Searing, squeezing, radiating pain
I welcome it
I know it
I can call it by name
When it passes I will feel alive
I will sing
And love the world
Without pain
There is no relief

Saffron · Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 4:06 pm Post subject:

RE Realiz' last posted poem: Sounds like a migraine to me.

Thomas Hood · Posted: Thu Dec 04, 2008 5:27 pm Post subject:

giselle · Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 1:53 pm Post subject:

Winter’s foggy gloom

Can’t see but ski fast

Hurtling along in

Blind loneliness and

Broken hearted sweat

realiz · Posted: Fri Dec 05, 2008 6:19 pm Post subject:

Saffron · Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 10:50 am Post subject:

This is an original, just not by me. The writer is my 15 year old daughter, struggling to decide whether to stay away at boarding school or to come home to attend our local high school.

My antediluvian dilemma
always knocks down peace
Here it comes again
without any reprieve
Like Loch Ness but lucidly more frightening

Thomas Hood · Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 12:25 pm Post subject:

Saffron · Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 12:40 pm Post subject:

GentleReader9 · Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 8:45 pm Post subject:

Saffron's daughter wrote:

giselle · Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2008 12:06 am Post subject:

realiz · Posted: Fri Dec 12, 2008 7:26 pm Post subject:

I wonder how much real feelings come out in poetry. When I get an idea for a poem and start writing, the end result always is quite different from what I started with. I am not always sure why. Here is one that has a completely different feel from what I thought I was going to write about. Not sure what the title should be.

Sometimes so very elusive
Disappears like water down the drain
Was she always this reclusive?
What call will make her live,
Within my soul again

In wilderness she solidifies
Appearing like a stormy rainbow
Sunshine streaming from her eyes
Beyond fears of demise,
Accompanied by glow

And still she resides in me this night
Her colors waltzing slowly now
What dawning brings the morning light?
This comfort mine despite,
What rising does allow

The subtle waning I do not resist
The afterglow staves off the bane
Could I hold her I would insist
But Joy must be missed
To return again


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