Ophelia's Journal.

Ophelia · Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 7:39 am Post subject: Re: Loving the USA?

President Carmacho said that he had read my journal, and then added "You don't like the US."

Not something I can answer in just a few sentences, so here is my long reply.

Introduction: I will end this post with my best memories from my year in California, in case the beginning looks like I'm in for a grumbling session.

Sometimes when you compare two cultures, the result is just funny: I related one such example in the fun and humour threads, as "Ophelia goes to America: the driving licence."

A lot of Europeans have a love/ hate relationship to the US. Many things frighten them (for the reason that the bad things tend not to stay in the US: two days ago we had a school "stabbing" in France when a pupil wanted to avenge himself on his classmates, having picked a few good ideas on TV from the States). Some things about the States also attract people (often what is fast and flashy, not necessarily the best the country has to offer).

As far as ideas are concerned, you have already guessed that I feel much more at ease in Europe, where I feel the average person is much more tolerant. I feel uneasy when a large number of people are ultra conservative and there is a pressure to conform.

As far as my experience of life in the US is concerned, it was shaped to a great extent by the fact that I went there to work. Those of my friends who went to visit friends or as tourists over several months got a different impression and had positive experiences.

Most of the foreign exchange terachers I met through the Fullbright programme had, like me, mixed feelings, because working in a different culture introduces a stress factor.

My experience of the US was shaped by very mundane things like:

1- The exchange stipulated that I had to live in my exchange partner's house. She lived in Oceanside, and the school was in San Diego, so I drove one hour in the morning and one hour in the evening.
I'm somebody who has always made a point of living close to my work place .
2- School in France starts at various times of the day for teachers, the earliest being 8 am, but that would only happen to you once or twice a week.
I started work at 7 am in San Diego.

I didn't feel like complaining about point 2, that was just life, although I found out that this was early even for American schools.

The part about the house was really a drag, I didn't need that house, I could easily have afforded to rent one ( I saw that houses and condos were sprouting from the earth all the time in San Diego), and Oceanside itself had no attraction for me.

So I spent most of the year adapting my inner clock, trying to go to bed at 9 pm instead of 11 or 12, and never really succeeding-- It's amazing the amount of time it takes to adjust completely. I made progress towards the end.

As a result I was often tired and a little grumpy-- I say all this because I think it must have coloured my perception of every day events .

Before I conclude this first part: the people I met in my everyday life were invariably kind and helpful.

stcamp · Almost a regular Joined: 09 Mar 2008 Posts: 26 Gender:

Hi,

Interesting topic. When we were in Poland I ran into the first anti-American comments. Always whispered, and always from a group. Surprising in that we are never taken for Americans until we start talking. It helps that we are thin. Even morer surprising it was Brits usually.

Stereotypes abound. In America I think only 20% of the population has been outside the country. I buy items (ebay) from Europe and pay cash. Most Europeans will accept dollars after I explain the large fee banks charge for International transfers and how difficult it is to find Euros here.

I liked France and found the people very civil. Unlike the common US perception that the French are rude. I think every country has its quirks but the European lifestyle seems much more sane compared to the US where work is the monster that devours your life.

Regards,

Steve

Ophelia · Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 8:06 am Post subject: Loving the USA?- 2

Loving the USA?- 2

Europeans sometimes come to the US with prejudices-- all I can say was that I was not one of the worst.

An American friend of mine in San Diego almost went on an exchange to Oxford, England. At the last minute the Englishman from Oxford cancelled the exchange, saying that he had gathered his information and there was not enough culture in San Diego!
The American was incensed, and I felt for him. I suppose there must be quite a few places like Oxford, Paris, and probably New York, where people think only they know about culture.

My own prejudices were taken care of very quickly after I arrived.
There was a beautiful park in San Diego, with restaurants and a theatre, and they were playing Shakespeare. The setting was wonderful, Shakespeare as always hard to resist, but.. we asked ourselves, did we want to hear Shakespeare performed with an American accent? And the theatre.. they called themselves THE GLOBE!!!

To conclude, Shakespeare sounded the same as in England, the theatre was wonderful, and I returned many times throughout the year.

Ophelia · Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 8:13 am Post subject:

Steve wrote:

stcamp · Almost a regular Joined: 09 Mar 2008 Posts: 26 Gender:

Lazy? Ah, actually yes. It looks like a nice life.

My impressions of France:

Nobody works very hard. The French, like most Europeans play at working. They do not actually work.

France is old. No youth, unless it is visiting. No vitality, just the muttering of older folks. The men look gay.

It is a beautiful country, great infrastructure. A Disneyland of a country. If France was a person it would be an older Aunt who has had extensive plastic surgery and looks great. She still dresses well and is fun to be around. The problem is she lost almost all her money in the stock market crash and the future is looking a little bleak.

Would I live there? Yes. The only problem is I would have to learn French.

Regards,

Steve

President Camacho · Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 8:50 am Post subject:

Wow. That wasn't very nice.

Ophelia · Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 9:02 am Post subject: Loving thre USA?- 3

So, I've been in the US a few weeks, lost cultural prejudices, happily go to concerts and to the opera...
Naturally I compare, as everyone would: some things are better in the US, some things are better in France, many things are better in Germany (the Germans don't even need to brag, every one knows it's better).

Ready for life in the US?

Here is hurdle number 1: THE question.
I checked with colleagues who were in other states, the question always comes, it's always meant the same way, and different people will keep asking you throughout the year.

The European may have come here with a certain number of doubts about himself, the meaning of life, or what the future of western civilization may be... Welcome to the land where doubt does not exist, and the no-doubters were born knowing the answer to their question.

They ask enthusiastically: "WHAT IS THE THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT AMERICA?"

Oh dear, what shall I say?
Ask other Europeans: What do you tell them ?
Only the few enthusiasts who are already Americanized have an answer.

Perhaps this is one of my bad days, I'm fed up with the American school system, I could make a whole list of things I want to criticize. But I make efforts all day long. I don't tell the school that they are just asking for trouble with their crazy behaviour, I keep all my ideas about "I know better" to myself. I try to survive.

THE QUESTION is really a problem for many reasons:
1- it's not just once, they will keep asking it.

2- I hate lying.

3- I am knocked out by the self confidence and the presumption that leads to that question.
How can you assume that what I want to say is positive, and if you say "America", I immediately come up with 5 wonderful items that I just need to put into order to answer your question?

4- I know you want to be nice. You think you are asking me something about myself, but in fact you are, in a naive way, asking for praise.
What if there is no praise in me today?
What if I've already had to overcome a lot of my prejudices just to be here and to try to see things in a fair way?

If this was in France, I wouldn't presume to ask this. I would say "How are you doing?" or "How are you adapting to your new life?" or perhaps "Are you sometimes homesick?"

5- Anyway, here we are, and a kind, smiling person waits for my answer.

Fine, I can find positive things to say, once I've overcome my surprise.

But it's not the end. To my dismay, I also realize that my honest answers, the lovely things I would like to talk about, are not what he wants to hear about. What he wants to hear is how America is bigger, how the buildings are higher... Now I'm in a panic, I really don't have the answer he wants.
I'm sure high-rise buildings would be a good answer... but we've got them too, why would I come to the US to look at buildings?
Or perhaps the American democracy?

To think of what this person wants me to say is to understand even more acutely what a different species I belong to. I don't think in terms of "bigger, faster, better, taller"... What can I tell him? Now I'm getting depressed-- one year of being a misfit ahead!

It's funny, after all these years, I remember the situation, and I remember that I managed some lame face-saving answer, and mostly that my instinct was saying "Don't tell the truth".

After a while I fixed up an all purpose answer-- I can' remember what it was.

Two years later, I had a delightful, mature American student in one of my classes on an exchange programme. We got to know each other well, and I asked her if my choice of strategy had been wise.
She understood because she too, liked the outdoors and hiking.

What I had fallen in love with, what I had never seen before, were the Californian state parks, the wildlife (whales for example!), the beauty of this particular area of the planet...
Winona, my student, was horrified: "Don't ever, ever, say that as an answer to that question!"

Ophelia · Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 9:20 am Post subject:

Steve wrote:

stcamp · Almost a regular Joined: 09 Mar 2008 Posts: 26 Gender:

Ah, yes. Perhaps my reply sounded harsh. Probably because it was. It is because I see France as what was the best and brightest about Western Civilization since the fall of Constantinople. France was what America should have grown into but did not. Without France there is no Western Civilization. It is the anchor. The beacon. It kills me to know that it is fading. It also angers me in a very childish way.

Yes, THE question. I actually understand. My next door neighbor is French. How could you not love America? Validate how great our country is or else! Then I have been asked the same question in Europe and Asia.

Regards,

Steve

Ophelia · Posted: Thu May 01, 2008 9:59 am Post subject:


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