I don't think the British were so terribly nasty in India either.
Your posting is full of interesting thoughts.
I, too, have read about India, and have come to the same conclusions as yours.
I once spent a week with an Indian family in London. During the course of a conversation, one family member mentioned with a smile that the British "had plundered India left, right, and centre" and he told me that by and large there was no resentment.
It would be interesting to know why things ended differently in Africa.
From what I read, the British were arrogant and racist while in India. They put people in jails for endless amounts of time when they protested.
Yet perhaps there were some affinities between the two peoples and cultures which enabled them to be friends after the Raj.