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The Daily Hazards of a Middle Eastern Wife

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soadnasr
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The Daily Hazards of a Middle Eastern Wife

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From wedding night traditions to meeting the mother-in-law, this semi-autobiographical read takes an often fun and fascinating look at the issues Middle Eastern women face in married life...and beyond.

For the first time and with a comic twist, a Middle Eastern wife talks about some traditions women face in the Arab world when getting married. The book also discusses topics in regard to pregnacy, child-birth and raising children in the Middle East. There is a huge cultural gap between the Middle Eastern world and the Western world and there is nothing better than humor that can bring those two worlds closer together.


http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0115454M ... stern+wife
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Chris OConnor

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Re: The Daily Hazards of a Middle Eastern Wife

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This sounds like quite an interesting book. I'm seriously doubting anything will ever bridge the gap between Middle Eastern and Western traditions. I think the Middle East has some very outdated practices that need to be addressed. I'm sure you'll agree. But I don't find the oppression of women humorous.
soadnasr
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Re: The Daily Hazards of a Middle Eastern Wife

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We have some messed up traditions that is, in my opinion, holding us back but not all women are oppressed in the Middle East. A lot of us are just like anybody else.You might realize at the end that women around the world have a lot more in common than you think. For instance, what they experience with pre-wedding drama and meeting the mother-in-law and so on. The last chapter, I mention the real hazards that some women face and I am not so humorous about it.
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Chris OConnor

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Re: The Daily Hazards of a Middle Eastern Wife

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I do believe that at the core we are all very similar. In no way would I argue that Middle Eastern women are somehow something less or inferior to Western women. But Middle Eastern women can only shine as bright as the men in the Middle East allow them to shine, and this to me is quite distressing and unfortunate.

Where are you from? I have very limited understanding of the Middle East but I do know in many nations women are not permitted to drive, sit with their husbands in the front of theaters during lectures, vote, wear shorts and dresses, etc... All of this is abusive and oppressive and the Middle Eastern women that say they "agree" to such oppression, because it is their religious custom, are suffering, in my opinion, from something similar to Stockholm Syndrome.

I do care about and love people, no matter what color, gender, nationality or religion. Intrinsically we are all the same wanting good health, family, friends, happiness and prosperity. To me it is a horrible crime to deny any human being the right to enjoy their lives however they see fit, providing that their enjoyment doesn't infringe upon the rights of others to do the same.

It is hard to look favorably on the Middle East when we read stories like this regularly.

https://www.middleeastmonitor.com/artic ... ress-women
soadnasr
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Re: The Daily Hazards of a Middle Eastern Wife

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The country you are tallking about is Saudi Arabia and is run, in my opinion, by a bunch of lunatics. I am just saying that the media gives an exaggerated idea from reality. If you ever go to the ME, for instance, Egypt or Dubai, you will find female doctors, engineers, ministers, political rights activists...etc. I am not saying there is'nt oppression, I am just saying that your statement sounds like as if I said women in India are raped or you will be harrased in the states by the police if you are black. In conclusion, just read and review the book, it's a tough world out there ;)
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Chris OConnor

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Re: The Daily Hazards of a Middle Eastern Wife

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But I'm not talking about Saudi Arabia. I'm talking about just about anywhere on this Earth where Islam is the predominant religion is backward, primitive and oppressive. This is a serious problem that needs to be addressed.

So Egypt is not oppressive to women? Are you kidding me?

Egypt is worst state in Arab world to be a woman, survey says

Read this article and then explain to me how we're to giggle at your anecdotes on daily life as a woman in the Middle East.

Female genital mutilation is common practice in Egypt.
A Health Ministry inspector testified Thursday in Egypt’s first-ever female genital mutilation (FGM) trial, saying a 13-year-old girl died after undergoing the procedure despite her doctor’s claims otherwise. FGM has been illegal in Egypt for six years, but activists say most Egyptian girls are still being circumcised, mostly in private clinics.
Is this something to chuckle at?

Egyptian Dr. Convicted of Performing Female Genital Mutilation on Girl Who Died

An Egyptian appeals court on Monday convicted a doctor of manslaughter and performing female genital mutilation that led to the death of a 13-year-old girl, sentencing him to two years and three months in prison in the country’s first case that came to trial over the widespread practice, defense lawyers said.

The doctor, Raslan Fadl, was initially acquitted of the 2013 death of Sohair el-Batea in a village in the Nile Delta province of Dakahliya. He was not present in court Monday and his whereabouts were unknown.

Monday’s verdict was “a triumph for women,” said lawyer Reda el-Danbouki, who represented the deceased. Egypt has one of the highest rates of female genital mutilation in the world and criminalized the practice in 2008, but it remains widespread.
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Chris OConnor

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Re: The Daily Hazards of a Middle Eastern Wife

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Egypt Day of the Women in the Worst Place to Be Feminine

Read this article and tell me women aren't treated horribly in Egypt.

Egypt's Women: Covered-up or Locked-up
In today's Egypt, women, even when they just walk on the street, every day endure violence, aggression, and sexual harassment. Women are often discouraged from seeking justice, both by officials, who want to protect Egypt's reputation and by their own relatives, who want to protect their family's honor.

What happened? The answer seems to lie with Islam's Sharia Law and how it is interpreted by the clerics at Egypt's -- and Sunni Islam's -- foremost religious establishment, Al-Azhar University in Cairo, and by other hardline fundamentalist groups in the country. The clerics at Al-Azhar, all men, seek to keep women behind the veil and under the thumb of the country's theocracy.
Any nation that requires women to live behind a veil is very backwards, oppressive and primitive.

In Egypt, the Law itself is an Enemy of Women’s Rights
In Egypt, if you are a man, you can literally kill your wife and get away with it.
Is this a lie? Nonsense. Articles about men beating and killing their wives are plentiful. Try to kill your wife in a civilized society and see what happens.
Polygamy is legal for men only.
A man can divorce his wife with no grounds and without going to court, while a woman has to have strong reasons for divorce, must convince a court of law of some ordeal about her marriage, and the judge may or may not grant her divorce. A new law introduced in Egypt in 2000, called Khula law where a woman can file for divorce on no grounds, but then she has to forfeit her financial rights and reimburse her husband the dowry (and any gifts) paid when contracting the marriage.
A woman inherits half what a man inherits.
Why? Is the value of a woman 1/2 that of a man? It is in Egypt.
In some Muslim countries, like the UAE, a woman’s testimony is half that of a man’s in court. In most Muslim countries, if a contract requires a certain number of witnesses, a woman is counted as “half” a man.
The world looks at stuff like this and just cannot believe it. The Middle East has made little progress in thousands of years because of backward religious practices.
In most Muslim countries, spousal rape is not recognised in the laws.
For women in Egypt, the general atmosphere is one of hostility and intimidation, prevalent aggressions and complete impunity with regards to violence against women.
Amnesty International titled its latest briefing on the subject “Circles of Hell: domestic, public and state violence against women in Egypt.” Women in Egypt must not only fight such culture, but must also deal with discriminatory laws.

Muslim men have a unilateral and unconditional right to divorce, while women can only divorce by court action. A man need only say the words “I divorced you” and then register the divorce.

Actually, an Egyptian Muslim man may not even tell his wife he is divorcing her, he can register the divorce (regardless of her consent or attendance), and it is the duty of the registrar to “inform” her. On top of this, there is such a thing as a “revocable divorce” which means the husband has the right to revoke the divorce at his own accord during the waiting period and without having to sign another marriage contract.

Such a waiting period is only a woman’s burden. She has to remain unmarried for three months after she gets divorced, and such waiting period is nonexistent for men.

Adding insult to injury, Egypt has an “Obedience Law”. This law stipulates that a man may file an obedience complaint against his wife if she leaves the marital home without his permission.

The woman is this case has 30 days to file an objection detailing the legal grounds for “her failure to obey”, a judge may not be convinced of course. If she fails to file such objection, and does not return home, she is considered “deviant” and is denied her financial rights upon divorce – if she was ever granted one. Naturally, such proceedings delay her divorce lawsuit, and risk a just financial settlement.

Although legislators in Egypt have always cited Islamic Sharia when enforcing such strict personal status laws, when it comes to adultery, Egyptian laws stray far from Islamic teachings and are outrageous.

The issue is such a taboo that no one even dares mentioning it. In Egypt, if you are a man, you can literally kill your wife and get away with it, if you catch her “red-handed” committing adultery.

Laws pertaining to the crime of adultery are an embodiment of sexism and discrimination:

– A married woman would be charged with adultery if she commits the crime anywhere and with anyone. A married man would only be accused of adultery if he commits the crime in his marital house; otherwise there is no crime and no punishment.

– The punishment for a married man (who committed the crime in his marital home) is imprisonment for six months, but women are given a sentence of two years in prison (regardless of where the crime took place).

– If a married man commits adultery with a married woman in her marital house, he would merely be an accessory to the crime.

– If both are unmarried, and the female is over 18, he receives no punishment, while she may face charges of prostitution.

– If a married man catches his wife red-handed in the crime, and kills her and her partner, he does not face intentional murder charges or even manslaughter, he only gets a sentence as low as 24 hours. If a wife catches her husband red-handed and kills him, she immediately faces murder charges with its maximum sentence as the judge sees fit.

Not only do we have to fight taboos, sexist culture, violence on the streets and at home, gender-bias in every police station, court of law or place of business, but we also have a long way to go to at least have equality in the eyes of the law.

Rana Allam is a former editor-in-chief of Daily News, Egypt, and commentator on women’s rights issues
Where do you find humor in all this? If you're a woman in the Middle East you are victimized by men and talking about all the cute little ins and outs of daily life isn't going to overshadow this fact.

I applaud your desire to put the Middle East in a better light but let's be honest here.
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Chris OConnor

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Re: The Daily Hazards of a Middle Eastern Wife

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Women in Azerbaijan

If you're a woman in Azerbaijan you appear to be one of the fortunate ones as this nation seems to be well on the way to treating women as equal to men.
soadnasr
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Re: The Daily Hazards of a Middle Eastern Wife

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Again, I never said there was no oppression. Whenever you will find educated people anywhere in the world, you will never hear of this. In my book, I address all kinds of issues. I try to be as humorous as I can so maybe someone can hear me out. Obviously I was'nt humorous when I talked about honor killings. Most of the problems in the ME come from bizarre traditions that we have created and that we have allowed ourselves to judge each other. Try not to blame the religion for this. Just like no one blamed Christianity for what Hitler did. Arabs are currently living their worst nightmare.
Last edited by soadnasr on Fri Jul 31, 2015 12:20 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Taylor

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Re: The Daily Hazards of a Middle Eastern Wife

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Right well ah... um... I do not know where to start..., My mind is full of this strange middleclass tale that could qualify for a version of "Real Housewives of the Middle East". Shockingly I paid for this book...., My defense can only be curiosity...I genuinely think that women in the Arab world have their backs against the wall, but what women? middleclass conformist don't seem terribly affected by the situations Chris has linked too. For a country as impoverished such as Egypt is, and dependent in part on U.S. subsidies, middleclass weddings do not appear to suffer comparatively. How odd indeed was this "book" it may well do to criticize, but what would be the point, I'd feel worse for it. I can well understand cultural differences, those are easy enough to set aside, with this book my mind is boggled as to who is the target audience other than some foolish nitwit which is what I am become, for laying out my money for it.
Congratulations Soad.
I'd like a return on the 10 dollars I paid for the "book", Make the check payable to Chris at booktalk.org in the name of Taylor.
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