Original Poetry

DWill · Posted: Thu Oct 23, 2008 12:40 pm Post subject:

Thanks! It's pleasure to be analyzed by you. I would say also that the "original" wording at the end of the stanza could be called a bit pretentious ("diluvian laughter"). But I'm not sure which version I like better.
DWill

GentleReader9 · Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 6:43 pm Post subject:

I owe the writing of this to booktalk. It expresses the anxiety I have felt about some of my postings. But a feeling of talking and really exchanging ideas with people in this format has lured me beyond myself. So this is for all of you.

Note to Self: Stay Safe

You have to flicker
like a flame
shifting sharp shapes,
never fully formed
--not solid; not fulfilled --
uncaught, unkilled,
unarmed and unalarmed,
Unconquered Empress of Escapes,
oh, but burn The Name.
Go lighter, quicker.

Be sight unseen, too hot to touch
a mind awake inside a dream
obscure as steam in steam.
No eye can catch,
retain your glance enslaved,
no, nor mind make fixed
by lovely lines engraved
the fire of you beyond the match,
the dance beyond the dancer flexed,
mass matrixed out of all firm muscle,
struck to the basic boneless strength beyond.
When you feel flesh becoming fond
of you, relax right through,
without a tussle or a wrestle
flash you free, no never nestle; stay strong,
go limp, go leaden -- go -- you can't go wrong
unless you fail to go
a second split before you know.

Saffron · Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 6:46 pm Post subject:

Nice ending GentleReader!

you can't go wrong
unless you fail to go

Saffron · Posted: Fri Nov 07, 2008 7:50 pm Post subject:

Here's a piece I've been playing around with.

Friendship with a married man

you built a white picket fence
with her name
between us
through which we sometimes
hold hands

GentleReader9 · Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 3:32 pm Post subject:

Hi, Saffron!

Here is the poem I promised from the end of the thread on "the poem of the moment." It could be read to bear a coincidental relationship to the last (very interesting, but I didn't know what to say) poem you posted in this thread, too, as it turns out. Hmm. I "say more than I know," like those ancient pagans as read by Augustine!

(A love poem to Saffron, whom I suspect of having been a little blond Quaker girl once upon a time)

Tag-You’re-It

I spy with my inner eye
The flowing, shining, scattering
Of little blond Quaker girls, barely
Putting weight on gazelle-delicate
Legs across an open meadow.
And I (a wavering shadow
Stretched late and long to swell the elegant
Ranks with chiaroscuro shades) I rarely
Grazed their lacy edges. Cheerily chattering,
We are..........clattering
Higher,..........higher,
To the..........First Day
School...........(I sing:)
If I could touch the hem of her garment
I know I could be made whole then.
‘Twas the simple gift of little golden Friends
To let me play at all, odd bird in every flock.
Saffron, did you run among the Heathen with a pack
Like that, or are you quietly inclusive by convincement?

realiz · Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 6:49 pm Post subject: Enjoying the poetry

I've been browsing the poetry forum for a couple days, thanks all.
I'm not a poet, nor a writer of any kind. This is just a moment in time, a feeling, fleeting, gone, and I know the ending is poor, but I put it there in frustation and it stuck, I couldn't change it.

The demon within my soul
Wanders around from room to room
Trailing fingers of lust and longing
Lingering, forgotten hallways
One by one I shut the doors
Firmly, resolutely
Trapping him down deep in the bowels
Miles of twists and turns
Blind and lost, searching
He sends out calls
Cell to cell, vessel to vessel
Ignore the SOS, false, misleading
Avoid, a void, void
Shit, I can't

Saffron · Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 7:07 pm Post subject:

Realiz: So glad you posted. I think it takes a lot of courage to put up an original piece. And you say you are an accountant? I guess you do more than numbers.

DWill · Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 8:14 pm Post subject:

Yeah, Realiz, I concur with Saffron. I enjoyed reading that. Thanks.
DWill

Saffron · Posted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 8:33 pm Post subject:

GentleReader9 · Posted: Sun Nov 16, 2008 4:38 pm Post subject:

Yay, realiz ! Another person contributing the to the poetry strings! Welcome, realiz, and a warm welcome to your demon, too. He may feel very lost inside your poem's virtual body, but he has the good company of those who wish him only the very best home here. Thanks for introducing him to us. I haven't forgotten that you agreed to recognize me as a Heathen, so you contributed to my poem to Saffron, too, with your encouragement.

Saffron, I've heard the George Fox song, too, although I'm kind of rusty on the words; is it, "Walk in the Light wherever you may be. Walk in the Light wherever you may be. 'With my old leather britches and my shaggy, shaggy locks, I am walking in the glory of the Light,' said Fox." Or is it some other kind of old "whiskers," not "britches"? It cannot possibly be "old leather whiskers." He was a free spirit, but not that strange. I sometimes hallucinate alternative lyrics to songs I haven't sung in a while. There are verses about his not swearing on the Bible because, "the Word's more important than the book to me," and not fighting with a sword. Not one of my most favorite sacred songs, apparently. I like "That Cause Can Neither Be Lost Nor Stayed." I will post its lyrics under the song in your heart string in case you don't know it. Some older Quaker will know it and be able to sing you the tune.

realiz · Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 1:17 pm Post subject: Having fun this morning

The Passionless Man to His Woman

Come live with me and be my partner
Prenuptial agreement a starter
We promise to sincerely cooperate
And in good faith we will negotiate

And we will sit across the table
Consulting textbooks, so reliable
Planning a future with our own space
Not a myth of white and lace

And I will promise you quality hours
So much more practical than flowers
Bimonthly evenings we’ll sip Chablis
Discussing politely and will agree

That we will honour our separate space
Each attuned to their unique pace
Honorably related, but not entwined
Our independence distinctly defined

Our agreement we will commemorate
Every year on that important date
Signed and sealed we will adopt her
Come live with me and be my partner

The lawyers delightfully take their share
Commenting on such a respectful pair
Together on paper, each our own life
Sign here and agree to a passionless life

realiz · Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 4:33 pm Post subject: Sequel

As I see that the Shepherd had an answer from his nymph, I thought I'd better do a sequel as well.

The Woman's Reply to the Man

If passion and desire were in your voice
My heart would leap, easy my choice
No papers needed, love enough
Partners for life, no matter how rough

Dreams I’ve had of white and lace
A contractual arrangement, a disgrace
I want love crooned romantically
Down on one knee, poetic plea

And I want days and nights of passion
Gifts of silk and gold and fashion
Bouquets of flowers, roses red
Earth to move beneath my bed

Entwined is what I dream about
Not sitting by myself, you lout
Our paces must match, or tis not love
A prenuptial may love disprove

And expensive gifts I would demand
Special evenings artfully planned
If this you fervently promise me
Perhaps, I’m thinking, possibly

But ask me to sign away my right
To hope for a life of pure delight
A partnership in business is fine
But lustily, I must decline

Saffron · Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 4:56 pm Post subject:

Accolades to Realiz! Well done!

giselle · Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 5:04 pm Post subject:

Brilliant realiz. After 400 years Marlowe and Raleigh have their response. your rhyme chablie/agree is really good.

DWill · Posted: Thu Nov 20, 2008 11:38 pm Post subject:

I suggested we find paired poems and you wrote your own. Overachiever!
Those were skillfully executed.
DWill


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