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Ophelia 
Embodiment of Reason
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 Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 9:08 am Post subject: Being different, attractive, and powerful.
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A link Tammy gave in the Wicked thread set me thinking, and what i'll write will only have some connection with part of the posting here:
http://www.bmezine.com/news/pubring/20030708.html
Here is one paragraph which, though not my main point, is worth considering:
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We have to ask ourselves which kind of culture we'd rather live in: are you defined as a member of a group (black, American, Russian, white, Christian, whatever) or are you defined as an individual, with your groupare you defin allegiances being secondary? That is, are you defined by your similarities with your compatriots, or your differences?
Logically, I fail to see how an individual can be defined by anything but the differences. |
(bold characters mine.) |
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Ophelia
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| Posted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 9:56 am Post subject:
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Secondly, my main point, after reading the beginning of the post about animals and which males the females choose in nature.
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To attract a mate of a specific type, animals differentiate themselves. Since females "choose" their mate in most species, males have evolved garish ways of drawing attention to themselves — look at birds and one of the first things you'll notice is that the males are brightly colored and perform bizarre and dangerous rituals to attract attention, while the females have muted colors and tend not to put themselves at such risk. The basic idea though, universal across almost all animals, is that the unique and exceptional individual gets the best mates.
Humans of course are more complex animals, so our appearance and behavior is more than just mating behavior; it's a broader form of communication. But it still boils down to the notion that the unique individuals define and rule the herd and the plain ones simply are going with the flow and get second pick.
Even a cursory overview of "successful people" (ie. business leaders, self-made millionaires, authors, celebrities, etc.) makes it clear that they're not normal people. They tend to be tall. They tend to be beautiful. They tend to be eccentric. Of course there are exceptions, and it is true that the majority are excelling in socially acceptable ways, but the fact remains that the world and its destiny belongs to unique and exceptional individuals. That said, the brightly colored bird is more likely to be killed by a predator, and the same goes for humans. If your goal is survival rather than success, maybe you'd be better off flying under the radar and stick with the crowd. |
My thoughts about powerful human beings:
In the old days, a chief or king would only have needed to tell an underling "I want ten more women", and someone would have bought them for him, or more likely stolen them from an enemy tribe.
Nowadays, this might just still be conceivable if you are, say, a Russian mafia chief, but most of the time, in the west, even the powerful will have to come up with something a little more sophisticated.
I had sometimes thought of women who married powerful men as a second, third or fourth marriage (I mean, after divorces). I thought they just wanted the money and power that went with the marriage, but on reading Jane Fonda's autobiography, My Life so Far, I had to reconsider: yes, it's power and money, but not only.
Jane Fonda writes about her third marriage, to Ted Turner (owner of CNN and of an empire), who was himself divorced. She was famous and wealthy, and could have made more money by continuing acting... but then the rich, beautiful and famous tend to want partners who are also rich, etc...
What happened is that he dazzled her, with his personality, ideas and lifestyle (constantly moving from one of his properties to the next...).
What I had underestimated (it seems) was the personal charm and power of conviction that goes with success (and explains why these people were successful in the first place).
By power of conviction, I mean that she relates having an announcement made in the newspaper about her divorce, and the very next day, Ted Turner was on the phone asking for a date.
She was grieving and in no mood for dating, but he convinced her and kept asking.
This would be the equivalent of the birds with differently-coloured feathers.
Also she tells (without any bitterness, she says they're still friends) what happened at the end of their ten years' marriage.
Powerful men may abide by the laws of monogamy but this doesn't mean they'll stay on their own in between marriages like the common folk.
Ted Turner, understanding that the marriage was failing, and still in love with his wife, began to look for replacement (as in, quality replacement).
When they separated, he took her in his private jet to wherever she was going, and picked up the replacement at the same airport, so he would not be going home unaccompanied.
In no way is he described as unsensitive or a bad person, I got a rather good impression of him from this book.
My second example will be in some ways less glamorous than Ted Turner.
Nicolas Sarkozy, though not a millionaire and at the head of a country that has long ceased being an empire, found himself in a similar, and more humiating, situation as Ted Turner.
Cecilia Sarkozy had first left him when he was Minister of the Interior.
He travelled to New York every week end and won her back.
Then she left him again when he was President of France, and they divorced (in a matter of days, as opposed to sometimes two years for the common man).
I was interested in seeing who would be the next French First Lady, and how long it would take.
I must say he surprised us all about who and how quickly.
Cecilia was the ex wife of Jacques Martin who was a popular TV presentator of a (stupid I thought) popular Sunday afternoon programme.
Nicolas Sarkozy had to show the world, and his former wife, what he could do: Carla Bruni is ten years younger than Cecila, much wealthier and considerably more famous.
As for time, the new relationship was announced within two months of the divorce.
The message I got was : you can't fool Sarkozy or humiliate him private or in public, he'll be the top dog, come what may.
Her long list of famous former husbands and lovers may have played in her favour as well (" See who I got, and who I followed?").
Remembering the Ted Turner story, I considered what the attraction must have been for Carla bruni. Really, living at the Elysée Palace...
What's in it for Carla?
Sarkozy is famous for violent raging and shouting at his underlings-- I think the fact that he learnt how to control himself on TV debates just in time for the presidential elections is a testimony to his will-power and working capacity.
But still, he must be one of those powerful men that can be very, very charming when he chooses to be.
I have no particular conclusion, and even less of a moral message, I'm just interested in observing how things work. |
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DisappearingInk
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| Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 11:11 am Post subject:
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| very thought provoking article and analysis, thanks for that! |
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Ophelia
Embodiment of Reason
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| Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 12:05 pm Post subject:
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Hello, DisappearingInk, and welcome to Booktalk. 
Would you like to tell us a little about yourself by writing an introduction in the "Introduce Yourself " threads? |
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Theomanic
I can enter The Chamber
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| Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:23 am Post subject:
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Both interesting articles, though I wonder on their validity. I'd like to believe it to be true, but I think it was quite a skewed opinion article.
A lot of people are hostile towards people who are different, and it can definitely impede ones ability to succeed. People who are in power or famous often get more quirky the more money they have, because they can afford to be different. I think the main traits required for success are charisma and willpower. And something to keep in mind is that those people with plumage may be in power, but their differences are very rarely anything outside the socially acceptable norm.
Regardless, everything they do is ultimately controlled by the dull, normal sheep who drive the economy (which in North America, means they control everything).
Also, it would be hard to convince me these young model-types are marrying rich old barons because they were "swept off their feet". I'm sure it happens, but I'm also sure it's the exception. Gold-digging is a survival instinct too... |
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Ophelia
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| Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 11:53 am Post subject:
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| Welcome back Theomanic (now + avatar and flag...) |
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Theomanic
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| Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 12:45 pm Post subject:
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I wander in and out. I'm always easy to find, regardless.  |
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