Who says I have to give orders, much less make any decisions
-- I can't make a decision to save my life, Penelope -- in order to express my bossy Libran side?
The place where I work is a collective, so all policies and new decisions are based on staff consensus; we are survivor-centered, empowerment model, so I don't have to make any real decisions in doing direct service, either. What I have to do that engages my stealth-boss qualities is to get all the after hours crisis line shifts and tabling hours and so forth covered
by volunteers who can and will do the job; and I work with volunteers so that they understand how not
to be bossy, or oppressive or re-traumatizing, or rescuing, but rather to support, offer information on options, give validation, believe, and affirm. Neither I nor the volunteers can be bossy, yet I have to model this and enforce it so they truly won't be.
It is a very subtle kind of bossiness, not always easy, but that's what's fun about it. You have to make it seem really cool and intrinsically satisfying to do what you're doing so that people will take hours of training and do it for free and feel good about it. This is no mere use of force we are discussing. This is a fine art of delicate bossiness. It's very satisfying. Kind of like being a dominatrix because it is led by the person you're "dominating." You just have to understand what they want and what their limits are and go from there.